What people are allowed to say

[Wes]

Yesterday, my friend and I had a disussion. During the exams, a teacher asked a pretty fat boy if he'd come to the school's bbq. He said yes, and the teacher said:'Well, then we'll order some extra meat.' and she laughed friendly at him. He laughed with it too, and even told us the amusing story. Now my other friend(who actually has nothing to do with it) is really pissed on the teacher. He says that she made a really bad example, and that this remark was way to rude.

The question is; is a teacher allowed to make such jokes? Where lies the line?

Personally, I think she is allowed because she was just kidding. She didn't say:'Are you sure? Aren't you fat enough all ready?' People shouldn't think so much about humour. About the line, I'm not sure. I don't know if it's possible to make such a delicate line.
What do you think,Smogon?

 

[Objection]

Whether it's OK or not depends on whether the person being made fun of (in this case the fat guy) takes offence to what is being said.

 

[Doomsday]

true. i would make fun of a fat person if he/she was my friend and took it well. otherwise it's just wrong

 

[Killernoob]

I think its fine. and depends on the persons reaction, but the person will almost always shrug it off as if they were ok with it cuz other wise they would be embarrassed.

however, I hate it when people make jokes about me. i know they are just joking and all but i hate having the spot light on me.

 

[diinbong]

Yeah, it depends on the relationship as Doomsday said. Where you wouldn't take offense to something from your brother or sister you might from a complete stranger or someone you don't know/trust as well.

 

[EspyJoel]

In this example it could be called OK as the pupil didn't take offence but since there's a high possibility they might it was a bit risky of the teacher and I think they should have thought about who it is before saying that joke as some people will just laugh at it, others will be deeply offended. Jokes can be a very healthy part of class to give a connection between the pupils and children, at least its just a joke rather than my old french teacher who would call people retards.

 

[CaptainKishimoto]

Also depends on how far the jokes go.

 

[CarltheChemist]

When it comes to teasing people, I wait until I know the person well enough to be sure that they have a good sense of humor about whatever it is I'm teasing them about. Generally this means waiting for some kind of verbal cue that they are comfortable with that particular aspect of their life (be it weight, looks, personality traits, ect...), usually them joking about themselves or something like that. Even when I know the person is comfortable with themselves, there are still things I never make fun of, namely weight.

In answer to your question, I would say that it depends on the nature of the relationship between your friend and the teacher, and the other students in the class. If your friend and the teacher have a more personal relationship outside the classroom (is your friend's family close with the teacher or teacher's family?, do they associate outside the classroom at all?), and the rest of the students in the class aren't going to tease him because of the comment, then I think the teacher was justified in saying that. In any other situation though, I believe that comments like that are absolutely inappropriate. Your friend might not mind the teacher making a comment like that, or his close friends, but what about the other students in the class he is not as close with? By reacting positively to such a comment, he is also giving his permission for other acquaintances to make fun of his weight- which I imagine he probably wouldn't appreciate. I also think that comments like that are inappropriate because, in the classroom, the relationship between student and teacher (at least in high school and college) should be professional- perhaps somewhat friendly, but professional none the less. Negative comments like that have no place in such a relationship, no matter how close the teacher and your friend may or may not be outside of school.

 

[Firestorm]

It was a stupid move by the teacher unless she knew that's how the kid would take it. As it stands, it seems the kid is very comfortable with his body image and the teacher likely knew how he would react so it's fine. Now if it was about somebody who wasn't very comfortable with their body, this would be a different story and that teacher should be suspended.

 

[akuchi]

You know, I wasn't there, but I'd have said something similar on the grounds that "Oh, someone's coming that I didn't prepare for, I'll buy more food".

The line.. is interesting. I had a teacher that would regularly call us all incompetent fuckwits and once made us write "I am an idiot" to begin the lesson. Those that got offended were told not to take themselves too seriously, and I think that's important. People shouldn't take themselves too seriously.
However, there is a line, and the line I think is when it becomes less of a Hicks-esque spitting on humanity and showing people they're not always as important as they think they are, and picking on people for who they are (as in the case of your overweight friend - that could have got very nasty, if the teacher hadn't obviously been joking and the kid wasn't obviously the sort to take it as a joke).

 

[moot]

in all honesty if you're going to take this attitude with 'oh god he's a fat kid i shouldn't make chubby jokes' then you honestly should just keep your fat mouth shut. it's impossible to be completely politically correct all of the time, and everyone has things that they are bigoted about. so either say what the fuck is on your mind or become a deaf-mute. my opinion anyway.

 

[DM]

I think a very important part of the story is that this is a teacher talking to a student. I don't care what kind of relationship they have (having one outside of school is incredibly iffy regardless), that will ALWAYS be an inappropriate comment for a teacher to make towards a pupil. ALWAYS.

 

[akuchi]

I think a very important part of the story is that this is a teacher talking to a student. I don't care what kind of relationship they have (having one outside of school is incredibly iffy regardless), that will ALWAYS be an inappropriate comment for a teacher to make towards a pupil. ALWAYS.

Nothing wrong with having a relationship with your teacher, lad!

 

[Wes]

To clear things up:
They don't have any special relation outside of school, but I'm pretty sure she knew well how he would take it, since she has him in her class 7 hours a week. This also brings up another question: can she be for sure enough about how someone would react to make such a comment in the first place?

About the fake laugh thing, why would he tell it to everybody then? Maybe he wants to avoid that others tell it to his friends? Or maybe he thought is was funny himself and wanted to share the joke with others?

He didn't give any signal at all that he disliked the joke, which indeed could be a sign for others that jokes about his weight are OK.

@CarltheChemist: why don't you make fun of somebody's weight while you do make fun of all other things? What makes weight so special?

And a final, not so important note, the fat guy isn't my friend (at all).

 

[az]

totally agreeing with DM

true. i would make fun of a fat person if he/she was my friend and took it well. otherwise it's just wrong

this makes me feel iffy

not because i think you're wrong, but how're you possibly going to know how someone is going to react to a comment until it is made? even amongst close friends certain things are a no-go, and a teacher has even less opportunity with a far broader spectrum of people to test the water for what is okay and what is not okay with certain students.

i don't want to drag this into a quagmire of bleh, but a lot of the responses to the op are extremely consequentialist, and i just don't think that flies in this instance

 

[billymills]

Probably depends on how the comment was made, I'm usually for any type of insulting remarks, jokes etc. regardless of if it's a teacher or not. I'm don't think it should be a problem unless the teacher is trying to annoy/anger the kid.

 

[Vine Whip]

Sounds like your friend got worked up over nothing, that comment could be taken both ways anyway....tell your friend to stfu and get a life...or not idk but, yea you even said your teacher 'alughed friendly' so whats the big deal?


A similar situation happened in my Spanish class

the teacher was teaching us locations, and how to say sentences with locations, such as Vas al cine? Vas al parque? etc etc. The answer is Si voy al cine, or no, no voy al watever the shit its

ANYWAY, when it came time for this one fat kids turn, the teacher asked "Val al Burger King?" (there is a Burger King across the street from our high school) to me this was blatant bullying, I mean your not even going by the book, every other kids question was something from the book except for this kid's, but of course the teacher's defense was, "What it was a harmless question, the Burger King is across the street I know all the youngersters go there"

The kid walked out of the room, the teacher hasnt gotten in trouble, that I know of at least, but yea I hope his ass gets fired here's really annoying too and his english sucks, o yea and when he gets upset he starts throwing profanity all over the place but of course his defense is his poor English...w/e



moral is my situation is something to get worked up over, yours isnt, from my perspective at least.

 

[Mailman]

It depends on the persons self esteem. If the guy was "cool" with being fat (which in this case I'm pretty sure he was) there is no main problem. But, if he was not it's wrong. In this case the teacher probably knew him so he knew he was OK with it but it''s not good to just be throwing those commentries too anyone you don't know

 

[Umbreon Dan]

I'm surprised nobody's been mentioning the stuff that goes on around here. Naturally, it's not the same on the internet, but I think it's worth bringing up.

Doesn't everyone make Steelicks jokes? chaos's beard jokes? Deck knight, jrrrr, glen's tight pants jokes etc. We can do this because these people are all known to be able to laugh these off, knowing that it's all in good humour. I expect very few of us would actually call Jump a (BAN ME PLEASE) in real life, but if somebody were to, how would he take it?

Eh, basically I agree that it more or less depends on the subject's sense of humour. In this case it seems fine to me, and I'd bet that in a week or two, he'll have forgotten all about it.

 

[Alpha/Omega]

A similar situation happened in my Spanish class

This is different. It sounds like your teacher was being vindictive.

Akuchi made a good point. You should be able to poke fun at your friends without them taking offense, as long as it's all in good humor. I they get offended, they're either taking themselves too seriously, or you stepped outta line somehow. You obviously don't make stupid jokes like "Wow, your mum is retarded, is that where you get it from?" but they're taking themselves too seriously otherwise.

If I were the fat kid in the OP's class, I'd be fine with fat jokes. It's true. Why would I be offended? If one of his friends called him fat, he should say something about the other guy, then they'd laugh and forget about it in 5 minutes.

If someone were trying to offend him, that's be the "fine line" I reckon.

 

[jrrrrrrr]

It's all based on intent and relationships. If I say something gay with another gay person around and they say "youre such a (BAN ME PLEASE)", I'd probably laugh with them...but if I was standing up for equal rights for gays and Deck Knight said "youre such a (BAN ME PLEASE)", it would obviously be offensive considering his posting history.

Things like this are far too situational to devise a set of rules for, which is why the political correctness fad is really misguided.

 

[Arceus thrasher]

It depends whether the person is intending on making the person's mind see the offensive side of the joke, or if they're trying to make it sound as if they will be bringing surplus, in this case, to feed the kid if he attends the barbecue. In a case like this, she may be saying it in a way to make sure he gets just as much as everyone else rather than an entire platter all to himself because of his weight.

It all depends on how one reads the words. Our minds all operate in a different manner.

 

[Doomsday]

not because i think you're wrong, but how're you possibly going to know how someone is going to react to a comment until it is made? even amongst close friends certain things are a no-go, and a teacher has even less opportunity with a far broader spectrum of people to test the water for what is okay and what is not okay with certain students.

assuming said fat person was my friend, i do believe i'd know how he would or wouldnt react to that joke!

 

[Crisis]

It was a bit of a dick move by the teacher but as long as nobody got offended it's all good I guess.

 

[Alpha/Omega]

Things like this are far too situational to devise a set of rules for, which is why the political correctness fad is really misguided.

And you've hit the nail on the head right here.