Since y'all didn't seem to like my good friend Christo's analysis, I thought I'd give one of my own, using
Cady's Map to North Shore High School as my guide.
Slateport City Socialites - The Plastics
You can pretend all you want - you want to be a Plastic, or you're scared shitless of them, or both. Usually both. Beware of the Plastics.
Mikan Island Monsters - The Art Freaks
Natural enemies of the Plastics. Don't be fooled by their self-confidence and poise - they're freaks and they're probably just jealous.
The Blackthorne City Battlegirls - The Burnouts
The Blackthrone City Burnouts had a
pretty good team last year, but it's hard to stay motivated sometimes when you keep having to take a few breaks to really look at your hand for a while.
Also, I heard one of them made out with a hot dog once. It's cool, guys, just hang out and smoke some weed. The Plastics can run the show this year.
Black City Burglars - The Varsity Jocks
The
Team Raiders Black City Burglars may look like a bunch of meatheads, but really, deep down inside - OK, no, first impressions are pretty accurate in this case. I heard most of these guys were pretty good at pokemon, but you're probably more likely to find them raiding other team's calls or vomiting behind a frathouse than you are to see them on the field.
Pewter P2s - The Unfriendly Black Hotties
If I'm being honest, the only reason Mean Girls is about the Plastics and not the Unfriendly Black Hotties is because the UBHs might just be too cool for the Plastics' games.
Route 30 Youngsters - The Freshmen
Don't underestimate the Youngsters because of their age - you never know when the new batch of students is going to pack their own Junior Plastics just waiting for the chance to take things over. Luckily,
we know just how to deal with a new batch of Plastics trying to flex on our turf.
Dewford Delinquents - The Sexually Active Band Geeks
You can laugh all you want at the band geeks - just because they did their homework and all their extracurriculars doesn't mean that they're not getting more play than anyone else in the school. You may think that they're easy to cross, but talk to them again and they'll kick your ass.
Littleroot Lindas - The Lady Lions Lacrosse Team
The Double-Ls are an aggressive bunch packed full of UU regulars just ready to throw a stick to the face to defend their place in the tier. They may not have a prized table in the cafeteria, but they're tough and they're not afraid to throw a few punches to prove it.
...
And finally,
a message to all the managers and everyone brave enough to sign up for the auction, whether you were drafted or not: Nothing but love to all of you. I wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles and we'd all eat it and be happy.
Stay strong.