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maybe 6 years ago i noticed a lump in my testicle and i was pretty freaked about it!! i went to the doctor and he told me that he couldn't be sure of what it was, and recommended that i go to the hospital.
i had to wait a week for the appointment and to this day i remember the unfettered anguish and panic that came with that week. i remember lying on my couch, unable to really enjoy anything, equally haunted by the prospects of death and of becoming some warped teenage eunuch.
one ultrasound later i was relieved to find out that it was just a calcium deposit! it's still there now, going strong.
pm user dm if you need any more info about my balls
It's okay, I'm not looking for sympathy (but thank you, really!!) -- I'm doing great <3 I just wanted to share my story with the OP (and people at large) in the hopes of reassuring them a little and giving them insight. Thanks to everyone else who shared theirs!
It's normal to be paranoid about something like this, and you being 15 years old, I'm honestly relieved you acted mature about it. You should feel proud. You faced 'death' with a lot of maturity for your age, you didn't do anything stupid or started saying negative things. You were just being realistic. I gotta say I got some respect for you.
Now that the doctor has cleared this up, it will stop bothering you somewhat. Shit like this will make you stronger mentally, especially at your age.
Cancer is actually the least likely diagnosis, the most common is hemorrhoids. Though like you said, it can be many things.
Edit: It's good to here that it wasn't cancerous or any tumors. Though I just want to add that if they would of found something cancerous and it was early in it's stage, the survival rate is 90%, if that makes you feel any better.
By the way, cancer doesn't cause instant death. There probably would have been plenty of time for you to actually get diagnosed before making this thread. I don't think you would have succumbed to cancer before then.
How much blood did you pass in your stool? I pass little cracks of blood sometimes when I'm constipated. It usually happens once, but sometimes it takes two or three times before it stops. I'm sorry if that sounds graphic, but this is a thread about poop, so honestly it's expected. The only time where you should be REALLY worrying is if you are spurting blood like a fountain and/or you are pooping blood regularly and/or pooping is excruciatingly/mildly painful.
I had a 4cm-diameter brain tumour surgically removed last year, which I've talked about quite a bit here, but here's my story ^_^; Don't read it if you're squeamish... I don't want to upset anyone! It's a novel, sorry, I like detail...
Last year I noticed (after replacing my headphones...) that I couldn't hear in my right ear. I also began to get dizzy and fall in the shower constantly, to the point I had to have special modifications made. I didn't realise this was related, but in about March and April, I began to feel so constantly nauseous whenever I moved, my head constantly spinning from the slightest motion, that I threw up several times a day. I was told I had permanent right ear hearing loss and it was most likely from a virus I'd had around the time I noticed I couldn't hear. About a week later I got sick of throwing up (threw up literally nine times in a morning, I counted -- I threw up food, then water, then acid, then began to dry retch after the ninth time because I ran out of things to throw up). I went to the hospital several times about it; they'd put me on the IV and I'd lie still in bed, so then I'd stop throwing up and they'd send me home. A doctor in the ER recognised my symptoms because his mother had had them, though, and ordered an MRI. It is quite possible that this saved my life, and it blows me away even a year later.
When I had the MRI, I was exhausted (I stayed awake all night so I could sleep in the machine, because I've had MRIs before and the noise and confinement scares me) and not even thinking straight. But I just thought it'd be routine and they wouldn't find anything. I asked them, 'How long do you think this will take?' 'Half an hour.' They woke me up and I asked, 'So how long was I in there?' 'About an hour.' I just figured I'd moved in my sleep and they'd had to take new images because I messed them up or something.
They made me wait at the hospital, which (as a medical veteran) I was not anticipating, and I just slept fitfully, but eventually I became fairly concerned. At 5 PM my mom yelled at the nurses and they made the doctor come and tell me I had a brain tumour, which was causing significant intracranial pressure and had caused a lot of damage to my 8th cranial nerve (the vestibulocochlear/acoustic nerve, which controls your hearing and balance -- no wonder!), and I would have to go to another city to be treated, due to my local hospital lacking a neuro ward. I was in shock and cried a lot. I wrote letters to a lot of my friends on my iPhone because I couldn't sleep and I thought I would surely die.
The next day I was taken by ambulance about five hours away to the hospital where I'd live for the next month. I was in a fairly cheerful frame of mind and felt hopeful that I could be treated, since that is what I was told. I arrived there and my neurosurgeon visited me. He didn't say a word to me, just asked for my MRIs. He looked at them and said, 'This will be challenging; she will die soon if we don't get it out.' The words 'This will be challenging' (or he might've said difficult, idk anymore, I was sleep deprived and in shock) made me cry hysterically. I thought again for sure I would die that night.
After talking to my medical team the next morning, that changed. I would have surgery in two weeks on my brain. I wasn't afraid because I'd be anaesthetised. I thought, 'Isn't the worst part waiting?' I felt really bad for my mom because I would just be knocked out for the ten or so hours the surgery ended up taking. I trusted my doctors to make me better and I had no choice anyway. I realised that it was having that surgery or dying. If I died from the surgery then so be it, I didn't want to die at all but I would've died anyway. But chances were that I'd live and I'd have a new chance at happiness, and I wanted to get better.
At the time I'd been severely and suicidally depressed for seven years. I sat around on the internet and deep in thought most of the time, and I was able to work through this depression because I finally realised I was grateful for the love of the people who supported me during this time, to be alive, to have another chance to experience all the beauty and wonder in everyday life and the world as a whole, and I was oddly happier than I'd ever been in my life before then. I was not afraid.
I know many people around me were afraid and I was scared of my facial nerve being severely damaged and living with facial palsy, since I was told that almost certainly would happen. But I was looking forward to having the future back. The heavy steroids I was on got rid of my nausea; as someone who's always sick, I felt physically better than I'd ever felt in my life. They also made me severely hyperglycaemic with lasting effects, so I had to take insulin, which meant my diet was severely restricted. I struggled a bit with having no freedom because I was stuck in the hospital taking insulin (and was also in a wheelchair because of my balance problems making it dangerous to walk), which made me cry a few times, but on the whole I was happy.
I have never felt so bad physically as after my surgery. I had no idea... had no idea of the sheer level of the exhaustion brain surgery gives you. I could not walk. I could not open my eyes. I struggled to think. I was in pain and constantly on morphine. It took me a week of starting to practise walking again to learn to walk more than a few steps. At the start, I'd walk to the door and collapse and they'd have to put me back in the bed, where I'd sleep for hours. Nothing prepares you for that kind of weakness and fatigue. I spent the first three days after the surgery fighting pneumonia too, hallucinating constantly and utterly delirious. It was terrible, nobody had told me I could be so sick and weary, that it would be so hard to recover. I knew it was going to take months to get back to normal, but I did not know I would be unable to even walk, to even sit up.
Coming out of that heavy anaesthesia at around 10-11 PM felt like waking from a coma. I was so dry and ill and dazed and didn't understand much, but I knew I was alive, and I was happy. I whispered thank you and then started bitching with all my strength about wanting water and the nurse gave me some (although you're meant to have crushed ice). I promptly threw it up. Yeah. I had a really awful night in intensive care, but I was glad I'd made it. And I was glad I had the support of everyone.
One day my neurosurgeon came to visit me in the morning and he saw that I was lying back, wan and drained, on my pillow. I'd eaten breakfast lying down. He said to me, 'You have to sit up straight to make your lungs stronger. If you don't then the pneumonia will carry you away.' I bolted upright, despite how tired I was. I was terrified of the thought that this chance at happiness I had been given by his capabilities (and others') would be wasted, that after all the fucking trials I'd been through because of a brain tumour I'd die to pneumonia. So I sat up and he petted me on the head and told me I had to sit upright in a chair for three hours a day. I couldn't do it. It was so tiring, so unbearably tiring, that I'd sit in for an hour and beg to be let go. So my mom would give in and I'd collapse in the bed and sleep for hours. Yup. That's what recovering from brain surgery and pneumonia is like. Eventually I was able to be wheeled outside and the feeling of the fresh air filling my tired lungs was so invigorating.
I wanted to go home really badly, so after my neurosurgeon visited me, I willed myself to make it happen. I threw myself into everything except sitting in a chair. Constantly practised walking, did my breathing exercises every hour as instructed, sat up whenever I could, went outside for fresh air. The doctors were surprised by how fast I was recovering from the double whammy of brain surgery and pneumonia, but it was partly because I'm young, partly because they were capable, and partly because of my willpower, I know that and they told me that too. I knew I was lucky to have the strength to fight, so I had to fight with all of it.
Soon I could walk a decent amount, and I was given a walking frame to deal with my severe and permanent imbalance issues. I cannot walk very far safely without it even now, and I daresay I will have it all my life. I don't mind at all, whatever helps me walk safely is a great thing in my eyes. I constantly tripped over and stuff before (partly from the damage to my nerve, partly because I have other neurological impairments), and now that isn't really the case when I'm using my frame, so I was glad. I walk better now than ever. My mom thought I would be too proud to use it, but no, I was thrilled because it was so fucking easy to walk holding onto that thing. I don't see why I shouldn't be proud to use it. I get stared at a lot as a young girl with a walking frame, but I don't care that much, since I used to get stared at a lot anyway for how I'd just kind of teeter all over the place like a Spinda ~_~ So I didn't feel bad about it at all.
They let me home early and I had to be readmitted locally several times with symptoms from my pneumonia, severe headaches after surgery (these eventually went away, but I was taking a cocktail of painkillers every night because one type would wear off before I was allowed to take it again, so I was prescribed about three or four types + paracetamol), and then whooping cough, which I'd caught in that city despite being vaccinated in February (caught it for the second time, mind you) and suffered with all winter :P
It was a long and hard recovery and I'm still pretty sickly, but when I compare myself to how I was last winter, or the winter before that, I'm happy to know I've made such an improvement. I know that I was in really good hands (my neurosurgeon was really well-qualified, head of the huge neuroscience department at that hospital, etc.) so I trusted them. Having everyone support me and just accepting that I couldn't do anything about it but fight as hard as I could helped me be strong. I won't say that it was easy because it was anything but. It was physically and emotionally gruelling, but most of the time I was happy and peaceful because I'd arrived at a kind of inner resolution. I also felt lucky to be able to deal with it so well and try to be strong for people like my mom. I know that it's a lot different when it's your daughter and you're helpless to make her better and when it's yourself, so I don't judge her for falling to pieces. I think it's perfectly normal to if someone you know / yourself gets sick.
It changes your life, you cannot look at the world in the same way, it is difficult and takes all your strength to get through. I understand completely why you are scared and I commend you on getting this checked out right away. It's not a good sign but it could be a lot of other, milder things, and I hope whatever it is can be treated and you won't have to worry anymore. I really wish you the best and if you ever wanna talk about anything, my PM box is open, etc. I didn't have to have chemotherapy or radiotherapy (although, if it comes back, I will probably have to have radiotherapy to halt its growth, but I got my 12-month all-clear in May!) -- my tumour was too big, I had to have it out right away because I only had a short time left to live otherwise. Now I will hopefully have a long time. I'm really grateful I didn't have to go through such long, trying treatments. And I hope you won't either. I don't know anything much about this particular symptom, but I can see why you'd be terrified, so don't feel ashamed of that or like you're overreacting. It's a normal fear, same as the fear we experience when we find strange lumps on our body etc., even if it's completely harmless. Just make sure to get all this seen to!
Remember that everyone who loves you is there for you right now, even though you're scared, regardless of whether your suspicions are right or not. I hope my post could give you a little insight and teach you that life goes on :)
And if you need any context for my experiences, I'm an eighteen-year-old Australian girl. I've been disabled since birth and stuff, so maybe my perspective is a little odd, I don't know ^_^;
ETA: I forgot to include a detail. I'm actually really fortunate. There was very slight damage to my ocular nerve, but my facial nerve was completely untouched. I can smile perfectly fine. The doctors didn't believe it when I smiled after coming out of the anaesthesia, in the weeks thereafter they kept making me smile to prove it since it was a foregone conclusion I wouldn't be able to smile properly anymore and they might have to graft my nerves etc. to give me proper control of the side of my face ;p So, yeah, I felt reallllyyy grateful for that. And that they didn't cut much hair off, you couldn't even fucking tell because I have a lot and I could just flip layers over my scar. (Which is not conspicuous, sadly I do not have an awesome battle scar...) Due to my unwellness in the months thereafter, I lost a lot of hair, but it's all grown back now :)
This shit can be very scary. I have had my fair share of medical scares in my 29 years, and I don't hold it against you at all that you were assuming the worst. Humans are afraid of their own mortality, and the stress of the situation makes us jump to the worst possible conclusions.
I'm glad to hear it isn't cancer, but you said it still isn't normal. Keep us up to date on how it goes.
Stayed home today. I didn't want anyone to see my with blood on my behind if it happened at school. I'm going to a pediatric gastro intestinal doctor tomorrow, so more news then.
I lost my best friend to leukemia last year. He had been in and out of remission ever since I had met him in college in 2005, and had been doing really well the few months leading up to his final relapse, getting back into gym work and back to work full time.
We spent most of our time at college bunking off playing basketball and smoking weed in the park, but was also someone I could properly talk to about stuff. I left college to work and about a year later I walk through the reception of my lab to see his goofy smile in a suit with a CV in hand. We had sort of lost contact since college so I couldn't believe it when I saw him there for an interview. He got the job and we spent 3 years working in adjacent labs, continuing our goofing off and weed smoking when possible. It was like nothing had changed, except we now had cars and (a small amount of) money.
At the time I didn't know he was the best friend I'd had, and for a long time after he passed away I was extremely depressed. It'll be a year on the 19th of this month.
RIP Sanjay.
oh jumpluff, i'm very happy that you're all right, and tickled that you retained your concern for your hair.
my grandfather on my mother's side had a tumor attached to his liver for about five years or so. he died at least five years ago I think… I always feel bad for not remembering the year exactly, but I was still somewhat young when he died, an early teenager, and while I was not very close with him, his was the first death I had ever experienced in my life so close to home.
he was your average filled-out old man, slightly heavy with age and daily scotch, but he was a great grandfather. grandpop! one day I noticed that he was looking skinnier than usual lately, and I asked my mother about it. it was only then that she told me he had been suffering from cancer for a few years already, and it was only recently starting to take form. when he died, he was a very skinny, very frail man. his wife tended to him as best she could when he was left at home, terminal, to be exactly where he wanted to be when he knew he would die. the only thing that kept any shape in his body was his stomach, which swelled with the tumor. I went to the wake, but couldn't bear to go to the funeral - I just stayed at home and balled my eyes out.
anyway redew, I'm sure you're going to be all right - you mustn't let yourself worry until you have a good reason to do so! so long as you follow the doctor's orders and take good care of yourself, you're still young and sprightly, and your body is in prime condition to heal itself as best it can, especially with the help of a doctor's prescriptions. :p
Unless you have history of first degree relatives getting colon cancer with an age of onset below 40, have HNPCC or familial adenomatous polyposis syndrome (which you would have already being diagnosed with) colonic cancer is far from the most likely cause of PR bleeding.
The first thing you wanna check is colour of the blood. A black/dark bleed indicated an upper GI bleed due to the blood reacting with acids/getting digestive. The fresher the blood, the lower down the GI tract it is. A digital rectal (ie a finger) can rule out haemorrhoids and perianal fistulae with reasonable accuracy.
Polyps or small benign outgrowths of the colonic wall can bleed and almost everyone has at least one. Colitis of inflammation of the bowel in the form of Ulcerative colitis or Crohn's disease also cause bleeding and are more chronic diseases which are a lot more common than cancer.
Congenital defects are more rare but more than likely easier to treat than cancer/colitises. Failure of embryonic stomach tissue to move properly can cause little outgrowths or pouches in your colon which get inflammed as they aren't meant to be there and can bleed.
Bowel rupture is EXTREMELY UNLIKELY. Trust me, you would know about it. Septicaemia, massive abdominal inflammation, pain like you wouldn't believe.
WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT AS WELL AS THINGS THE DOCTORS WILL ASK OR DO:
Get a idea of what the symptoms are the the TIMING. Seriously, having a patient who can accurately answer your questions makes it so much easier for the doctor to come to a conclusion and the diagnosis will be quicker and more accurate.
Onset of pain: Y/N? WHEN? Does it get worse with activity? After meals? Any specific location?
Blood? Colour? Consistency, runny vs clotted? Does it come and go or is it consistent? When did it first become obvious? Any trauma/fall off your bike etc?
Allergies or intolerances? Lactose? Gluten? Smoker? Drinker?
Past Medical History: Has anything happened like this in the past? Any gastrointestinal problems of any kind in the past? Any surgeries or medications in the past?
Family Medical History: Any history of polyposis, colitis, colonic or liver cancers?
Diet: BBQ meats and FIBRE!?
What are they likely to do:
Chances are you will be given a physical abdominal exam to identify and local or referred pain. Asked about any pain you have experienced and if it's sharp, radiating, dull, aching etc.
Next would probably be a digital rectal exam. Following that there is no real set order but generally both an endoscope (fibre optic cable through the mouth) and a colonoscope (through the bum) will be necessary to get a good idea of what is down there. You won't be unconscious for these procedures but local anaesthetic will be applied. Honestly the prep for the colonoscopy is worse than the procedure itself. You need to drink as much as the prep solution as you can to clear out your bowels to allow the cameras the best chance to spot anything.
Blood tests to check for celiac's (gluten intolerance), iron + B12 deficiencies + inflammation markers for colitis as well as blood counts to check for infection and potential blood loss.
Scans are helpful too. If the colonoscopes don't come up with anything then CT with various dyes can help identify any blockages or abnormalities in the colonic wall. A pill camera with biopsy capabilities can also be used.
If worse comes to worse they will have to do an exploratory key hole surgery to inspect the bowel but this is a last case scenario if the blood loss does not stop etc etc don't worry about this.
Anyways bud, chin up, no one knows what it is yet so don't get depressed. If you need any advice then chuck me a PM/VM :)
I'm sorry about your friends that you've lost, and I wish you the best c:
Also, thanks for the encouraging words, guys.
The GI doctor said that I have about 4 or 5 fistulas (or however you spell it). I'm getting a colonoscopy and possibly minor surgery to fix them. Nothing I can die from, but I'm still worried.
Daru, if you die on me I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL COME UP TO HEAVEN AND BITCHSLAP YOU GDI!!!!!
In all seriousness, I'm glad its something minor surgery can fix, you're too good a friend from our days on Serebii to go so soon.
Remember man, people will be behind you to see you through this, so you'll be fine, just lend on friends and families willpower if you're ever in a dark place, they'll pull you out of it!
cancer is one of the most serious diseases of our time. I think I remember correctly men has a 50% and women have a 40% chance of getting it in their lifetime. I have had some family have cancer, my aunt had breast cancer, but she recovered at chemotherapy, and few grandparents had skin and colon cancer, they all recovered luckily though. I suspect I have a pretty good chance of getting skin/bladder cancer because many of family history, and when I was a kid, I almost never put sunscreen on and got burned a lot. I took a gene test and its appears that bladder cancer is the most likely cancer I will get, and my urine is slightly acidic to make things worse. I do drink enough water though. Cancer in youth is extremely rare, most of the time it happens at 60-100, and after 100 your cells are so slow growing that chances something else will kill you. I have went to school with a few kids that cancer, and they went through the usual treatment and survived. I don't like the idea of chemotherapy though that in itself can kill you.
Pluff: I've read your story a ton of times now, but it still amazes me. You're so amazing <3
My story: In the beginning of my junior year of high school, I would start to collapse randomly. A bit of warning, two, three minutes, and then I'd drop. No matter where I was or what I was doing. I went to see a doctor, who basically said, "well I don't know". However, it went away on its own after a few weeks. Come December/January of junior year. I start to faint even worse, far more frequently than previously. I would have trouble concentrating in class, seeing, focusing. I was nervous as hell all the time because I didn't know when it would happen or what would cause it. At one point, the peak, I fainted 7 times in 4 hours, in school. I was quite honestly terrified that it was a brain tumor of some sort. (I've had severe, awful migraines almost my whole life - I went for several MRI's at 9 years old to make sure it wasn't a tumor, and they had returned with the fainting). All the tests came back normal, cardiovascular and neurological. Eventually, they decided to do a tilt-table test, which tests your blood pressure. I tested positive for vasovagal syncope. (For anyone who doesn't know, vasovagal is basically the doctors saying "well fuck me, I have no idea". Its nearly impossible to fail a tilt-table test). Anyway, I made a few lifestyle changes, and happily enough, I faint a lot less frequently now, once a week or so.
I'm not sure where I was going with this! But honestly, don't assume the worst. Just think positively and it'll be a lot better for you :) Keep your chin up. I'm really happy to hear its not cancer, and again reiterating what others have been saying, -please- keep us all posted so we know that you're okay!
