Future Alcoholic

[alamaster]

Hey guys, I come to you asking for help. Before I ask, let me just give you a little background information on my family and I concerning alcoholism.

A lot of my family are alcoholics on both of my parent's sides. The majority of deaths in my family are alcohol related. My uncle died at the age of 42 just walking down the street when he collapsed and his heart stopped. We didn't even know he had a problem until after his death when we discovered liquor hidden away. My grandfather died in his 50s because of alcoholism. Just about a week ago we heard the news that a relative of mine had too much to drink, went swimming and drowned. Another relative killed himself after he got very drunk.

It's not just my relatives, it's my immediate family as well. My dad was an alcoholic up until the year I was born, when he finally realized that it was destroying his life. He was able to stop but that wasn't until he was about 30 years old. My mom also can't handle liquor, but I don't think she can be considered an alcoholic.

And finally me, I have experienced a number of times where I get to a certain point of drinking where I cannot stop. I call it blackout mode, because I cannot for the life of me remember what happened but it never ends well. I realized yesterday that I simply cannot drink alcohol with any level of control. I went to a party on the Saturday that just passed and everything was going well until I had too much and lost control. When I get into blackout mode I am a horrible person to be around. I was insulting pretty much everyone there, and almost got into a fight. I was basically just being a huge dick to everyone, which is the complete opposite of how I am normally.

Also, while it is embarrassing to say I lose control of my bladder if I have too much so they hated me even more for wrecking their couch.

In the past my drinking has always ended up with the same consequences (not always pissing myself but the same asshole attitude). It's getting worse, I know if I say the wrong thing to someone when I'm drunk I could get my ass kicked or worse. I also know that I could get alcohol poisoning and die because I literally don't stop until I've passed out. I thought it was hard liquor so I switched to beer which ended up being no different for me. I simply can't have alcohol.

So now for my question. In this day and age where alcohol is a staple in any person's college life, where it appears at every party or social gathering, how can I seek help and understanding from others for my condition? How can I quit knowing that alcohol is pretty much everywhere? I know that alcohol will kill me unless I do something to stop it, but I am under a lot of stress and sometimes a drink sounds really good.

So if you guys could give me advice then I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks for reading.

 

[Flamewheeler]

There is honestly nothing wrong with drinking. Almost everyone in my family drinks and some are alchoholics. So, I know how you feel. Youc ould seek help from counselers at something like "Alchoholics Anonymous" or try to find support from non-drinking friends/family. You'll probably never "forget" about alchohol's exsistence because as you said, it's everywhere. It takes A LOT of will power to quit and there will be A LOT of times where you will want to start again, but that's where you have to develop self-discipline. I'm not sure what else to say, but I hope I helped...at least a little bit.

 

[Firestorm]

Becoming the designated driver is always a good way to go with these things. I just cite personal issues that I'd rather not talk about if asked if I wanna drink. Most of my friends know I don't drink now. Although for me it's less me and more I just can't stand the stuff after alcoholism screwed up parts of my family.

 

[obi]

So now for my question. In this day and age where alcohol is a staple in any person's college life, where it appears at every party or social gathering

As a college person myself, I feel I should say that I don't drink. For the most part, I don't go to parties where people get drunk. The easiest way to avoid drinking is to not be around people who try to get you to drink. If you say "I don't want to drink" and people try and make you, they aren't your friends.

 

[alamaster]

There is honestly nothing wrong with drinking. Almost everyone in my family drinks and some are alchoholics. So, I know how you feel. Youc ould seek help from counselers at something like "Alchoholics Anonymous" or try to find support from non-drinking friends/family. You'll probably never "forget" about alchohol's exsistence because as you said, it's everywhere. It takes A LOT of will power to quit and there will be A LOT of times where you will want to start again, but that's where you have to develop self-discipline. I'm not sure what else to say, but I hope I helped...at least a little bit.

There is a lot wrong with drinking, it is highly toxic to your body and causes all sorts of problems. The majority of people are able to tolerate the effects of alcohol and they are lucky for it. It is a shame that there are people that cannot enjoy having a drink because of their addiction but that's reality. I told my friends that I am going to try to quit and that I need their support.

I probably won't consider seeking advice from counselors unless I can't stop on my own. Thanks for the reply.

Becoming the designated driver is always a good way to go with these things. I just cite personal issues that I'd rather not talk about if asked if I wanna drink. Most of my friends know I don't drink now. Although for me it's less me and more I just can't stand the stuff after alcoholism screwed up parts of my family.

Yeah, I agree that being a dd would be a good idea but I think I would have to have someone else who doesn't drink go along with me because being the only sober one in the group is not very fun.

I will probably use the same reasoning if somebody asks why I don't drink, it seems like an effective way to stop the person from continuing to ask. Thanks for your insight.

As a college person myself, I feel I should say that I don't drink. For the most part, I don't go to parties where people get drunk. The easiest way to avoid drinking is to not be around people who try to get you to drink. If you say "I don't want to drink" and people try and make you, they aren't your friends.

Yes, I agree that a good way to stop an addiction is to avoid situations where you might be more prone to a relapse. The problem for me is that in my college pretty much all of the socializing on weekends consists of going to a party and getting wasted. If I were to say that I won't attend any of these parties then I feel that I would be missing out on a big part of the college experience. I think I might try and go sober and see how that goes. I'm sure that everyone who goes doesn't get drunk anyways.

My closest friends are great guys who I know will support me, so I am not too worried about that. Thanks for the reply.

 

[b0b3rt]

Bring something to drink of your own, a large bottle of soda or juice, or something like it.

 

[Thund91]

Why can't you have fun at a party sober? Sometimes I don't drink at parties and it can be even more fun then if I was piss drunk.

 

[Llama]

Well if your not entirely against it, getting high is a good alternative to getting fucked up drunk at a party, and the odds are you won't overdo it, unless you take insane amounts of bong hits, and combine that with drinking. As far as I go, if I don't want to get fucked up drunk at a party, but don't want to be sober I smoke a little, and it makes the party more enjoyable for me, if your against smoking, just disregard this post.

 

[matty]

Becoming the designated driver is always a good way to go with these things. I just cite personal issues that I'd rather not talk about if asked if I wanna drink. Most of my friends know I don't drink now. Although for me it's less me and more I just can't stand the stuff after alcoholism screwed up parts of my family.

This. I use to run a pseudo-taxi cab business during high-school. Charge to drive people around for the night (I use to do a flat rate of $5) and make sure they are your friends. If you get like 4-5 people in your car you'll make some cash, stay sober, and still be able to join in at the parties without having to drink and having a valid excuse.

Another strategy when I'm not drinking is bring an empty red solo cup and just fill it with water. If people start "drinkin" just sip on your water. No one will be the wiser (fuck they are usually drunk anyways) and you won't look like a pussy.

 

[Atlas]

If I were to say that I won't attend any of these parties then I feel that I would be missing out on a big part of the college experience.

i think with this attitude youre destined to fail. if you think that your life is in danger with drinking but you feel you have to because of the "college experience," theres really no point in looking for help.

 

[Shinryu]

Uh...stop drinking? Maybe try one of those AA meetings or something.

 

[Glen]

the trick to not drinking at parties is to not give a fuck about things like peer pressure. while i obviously can't prove that this isn't just the typical antisocial loser mantra of 'i dont care if they dont like me, theyre not worth my time', you'll just have to trust me that it's easy to fit in socially and not drink as long as you're confident.

in all honesty, it's easy to do almost anything as long as you're confident.

 

[Objection]

The problem for me is that in my college pretty much all of the socializing on weekends consists of going to a party and getting wasted. If I were to say that I won't attend any of these parties then I feel that I would be missing out on a big part of the college experience.

Call me naive, but I thought the "college experience" was more about independent study that led to you getting some sort of degree or something? The whole going out and getting drunk thing is one way of having fun, but it's neither the only way nor necessarily the best way.

 

[mtr]

I'm a college dude too, and I'll have a few weekends in which I have 7-10 drinks in one night, and then go back to Shoddy Battle and do stuff like use Close Combat and wonder why it doesn't hit Gengar...

Just kidding about the Gengar part. Regardless, for most weekends, I've been able to avoid becoming shit-faced simply by setting hard limits, such as 4 drinks. Also, I've found that if you have a cup in your hand, even if its empty or only slightly full, people quit bugging you. So just have a drink or two and keep the cup or shotglass.

 

[alamaster]

Wow thanks for the replies guys it means a lot.

Bring something to drink of your own, a large bottle of soda or juice, or something like it.

Yeah, I'd probably just drink water or something, I don't think that would be a huge deal.

Why can't you have fun at a party sober? Sometimes I don't drink at parties and it can be even more fun then if I was piss drunk.

I suppose you are right, it's only fun if you want it to be. I have gone to clubs sober and I can't say I had the greatest time, but I didn't really let myself have a good time so I can see how that could change the situation.

Well if your not entirely against it, getting high is a good alternative to getting fucked up drunk at a party, and the odds are you won't overdo it, unless you take insane amounts of bong hits, and combine that with drinking. As far as I go, if I don't want to get fucked up drunk at a party, but don't want to be sober I smoke a little, and it makes the party more enjoyable for me, if your against smoking, just disregard this post.

This is actually something I considered because when I get high I still maintain a level of control over myself as opposed to getting wasted where there is absolutely no control. It's always an option for later, but I think for now I'm just going to try being sober.

This. I use to run a pseudo-taxi cab business during high-school. Charge to drive people around for the night (I use to do a flat rate of $5) and make sure they are your friends. If you get like 4-5 people in your car you'll make some cash, stay sober, and still be able to join in at the parties without having to drink and having a valid excuse.

Another strategy when I'm not drinking is bring an empty red solo cup and just fill it with water. If people start "drinkin" just sip on your water. No one will be the wiser (fuck they are usually drunk anyways) and you won't look like a pussy.

Those are actually really good ideas, thanks! And yeah, I definitely wouldn't be comfortable driving around people whom I don't trust. The water in the red cup idea would be a good one if for some reason

i think with this attitude youre destined to fail. if you think that your life is in danger with drinking but you feel you have to because of the "college experience," theres really no point in looking for help.

When I said that I was replying to what obi had posted when he said he often doesn't go to college parties with alcohol. What I meant was that the parties are a big part of the college experience, not drinking alcohol. The reason I want to go and feel I would be missing out is because they are one of the main ways of socializing with others, but I wouldn't necessarily have to drink alcohol if I attend. Sorry for the mix-up.

Uh...stop drinking? Maybe try one of those AA meetings or something.

As I said above I don't think I need any of that at this point, hence the topic title "future alcoholic", but if for some reason I cannot stop on my own then that's always a good option.

the trick to not drinking at parties is to not give a fuck about things like peer pressure. while i obviously can't prove that this isn't just the typical antisocial loser mantra of 'i dont care if they dont like me, theyre not worth my time', you'll just have to trust me that it's easy to fit in socially and not drink as long as you're confident.

in all honesty, it's easy to do almost anything as long as you're confident.

Everything is easy if you are confident, and that may be something where I would have to build up confidence to a point where I would be completely comfortable with being sober. Like Matty said, being a dd gives me a valid reason not to drink and if people know this and respect me for it then it will be easier not to feel out of place.

Call me naive, but I thought the "college experience" was more about independent study that led to you getting some sort of degree or something? The whole going out and getting drunk thing is one way of having fun, but it's neither the only way nor necessarily the best way.

As I said to Atlas above, what I meant is that the parties and socializing are big parts of the college experience, not the drinking. Of course school comes first in all of this, but when people reflect on their best days in college often they remember the outings after being in school, not so much the classroom. I just want to have fond memories of those experiences like everyone else, just without alcohol.

I'm a college dude too, and I'll have a few weekends in which I have 7-10 drinks in one night, and then go back to Shoddy Battle and do stuff like use Close Combat and wonder why it doesn't hit Gengar...

Just kidding about the Gengar part. Regardless, for most weekends, I've been able to avoid becoming shit-faced simply by setting hard limits, such as 4 drinks. Also, I've found that if you have a cup in your hand, even if its empty or only slightly full, people quit bugging you. So just have a drink or two and keep the cup or shotglass.

The thing with alcoholism is that the person has one or two drinks and then it snowballs into ten or twelve drinks. I know for a fact that if I limit myself to a couple of drinks I'll just think "ah, what the hell" and have a couple more, until I'm back to where I was. I've had an instance where I was just going to have 2 shots of Jack Daniels and I ended up having an entire 40 ounce bottle, and I am not a big guy by any means.

The people that can set a limit on themselves are lucky, but for me I have to go dry. Limiting is not an option because I can't control myself when I drink.

 

[mtr]

The thing with alcoholism is that the person has one or two drinks and then it snowballs into ten or twelve drinks. I know for a fact that if I limit myself to a couple of drinks I'll just think "ah, what the hell" and have a couple more, until I'm back to where I was. I've had an instance where I was just going to have 2 shots of Jack Daniels and I ended up having an entire 40 ounce bottle, and I am not a big guy by any means.

The people that can set a limit on themselves are lucky, but for me I have to go dry. Limiting is not an option because I can't control myself when I drink.

Well then, you can just keep an empty or slightly-full cup to create the illusion of drinking, pretending to sip occasionally if you have a bit in there. I understand, however, that the act of doing so without actually drinking requires a great deal of mental discipline, and is difficult to maintain for prolonged periods of time.

Other than that, all I can say is watch out for drinking games like Flip-Cup (two teams race against each other to see who can chug a set of beers, one per person, the fastest) or even worse, Case Break (Each team of 6-8 people takes a case of 30 beers and has to finish it. I regretted participating in this). No one can force you to take part, but in the case of the latter game, people might not like it if you just stand around.

The problem is, though, that I'm betting that you know all of this already. As such, it might simply be best just to remove yourself from the situation like a Zapdos from a Tyranitar when the heavy drinking starts.

 

[Kay [Old]]

Why can't you have fun at a party sober? Sometimes I don't drink at parties and it can be even more fun then if I was piss drunk.

This. I don't ever drink at parties, but I derive great enjoyment from messing with drunk people at parties - from my perspective, it's the best part.

I suppose you are right, it's only fun if you want it to be. I have gone to clubs sober and I can't say I had the greatest time, but I didn't really let myself have a good time so I can see how that could change the situation.

And I'll admit it kind of sounds here like you need alcohol to enjoy parties, which is not good. At all. And if that is true, probably stay away from them for the time being and learn some self-control, really.

 

[alamaster]

Well then, you can just keep an empty or slightly-full cup to create the illusion of drinking, pretending to sip occasionally if you have a bit in there. I understand, however, that the act of doing so without actually drinking requires a great deal of mental discipline, and is difficult to maintain for prolonged periods of time.

Other than that, all I can say is watch out for drinking games like Flip-Cup (two teams race against each other to see who can chug a set of beers, one per person, the fastest) or even worse, Case Break (Each team of 6-8 people takes a case of 30 beers and has to finish it. I regretted participating in this). No one can force you to take part, but in the case of the latter game, people might not like it if you just stand around.

The problem is, though, that I'm betting that you know all of this already. As such, it might simply be best just to remove yourself from the situation like a Zapdos from a Tyranitar when the heavy drinking starts.

I've already noticed how quickly drinking games can fuck you up, so if people are keen on doing that I'll be sure to keep my distance. Honestly though if I put my mind to it I believe I can succeed without succumbing to drinking.

This. I don't ever drink at parties, but I derive great enjoyment from messing with drunk people at parties - from my perspective, it's the best part.


And I'll admit it kind of sounds here like you need alcohol to enjoy parties, which is not good. At all. And if that is true, probably stay away from them for the time being and learn some self-control, really.

Now that you mention it, that does sound like fun. And when I was sober at the clubs it was because I was dd and wanted to drink but obviously couldn't, which affected my mood and I just don't think I gave myself the chance to enjoy the outing being sober. Now that it is a question of endangering myself (and others) for a couple of drinks it just isn't the same situation, so I have a new perspective here. I'm not saying it will be easy to gain control over the addiction, but at this point I believe that I can overcome it.

I don't think I need alcohol to enjoy a party, it's just in all honesty I've never gone to one and remained sober so I was a little unsure of what to expect. Since a lot of you guys are saying it is times just as or even more fun than being drunk, well my uncertainty before is starting to disappear.

 

[Doctor Heartbreak]

it is completely impossible to enjoy going to a club sober

 

[Objection]

it is completely impossible to enjoy going to a club sober

"Enjoy" is subjective: what one person may enjoy another may despise and vice versa.

 

[ivar]

Just say that you are diabetic. Honestly though, if I were you I would just say that I have serious problems with alcoholism and I really can't drink. It could make for a great conversation starter.

Also, lol user Objection it was clearly a hyperbolic statement.

 

[Oddish On Fire]

I'm prepared to sound like a dumbass, but have you tried smoking marijuana?

You seem to like to party and you drink to let go of stress. Your problems are these; you're afraid of getting addicted, you lose control, black out, and act like a dick.

I prefer smoking over drinking because I don't get addicted, I can regain control with ease, and I'm actually nicer.

Once again, I'm prepared to get flamed for this, but I feel that as a fellow human being, you deserve to party.

 

[alamaster]

@DaBossMan - Yeah, I guess that's what I have to do now, but I think I may just say I don't drink because of personal reasons and leave it at that. I don't know how great of a conversation I could have after saying that though so I could always try saying what you said and see how that works out. Why not, right?

@Oddish On Fire - I have in the past and to be honest I really liked it, the only downside being the high only lasts for a couple of hours but it is probably cheaper in the long run. In my experiences I had complete control over myself and was also a nicer to people probably because I was less irritated by things.

I'm going to get some for Friday and kind of test it out again because it has been 5 months since I last toked up so I'll see how it goes. I agree with you, everyone deserves to just let loose every now and then and just have a good time. If weed lets me do that in a much safer way than alcohol, then I think it could be a great substitute.