Walrus do u like older music von (A Walrus) - Won by Morgan

[vonFiedler]

23rd
3.5 Points
Granny Pie

My Little Pony Theme Song

I think Granny was afraid that I might secretly like MLP. But what he didn't account for was that I'm simply ambivalent. This is not very good for an opening to an American cartoon, but it doesn't enrage me.

 

[vonFiedler]

22nd
4.7 Points
Rodan

Big Weenie - Eminem

From my limited understanding, this was one Eminem's most hated songs ever. And you can see it. But I also read something that said this was misunderstood and postmodern, and fuck if I know if that's true. My gut said to put this around the middle. I think it's bad, but we've got worse to come.

 

[vonFiedler]

21st
5.3 Points
Ullar
Rude - MAGIC!

A mediocre pop song... but having heard this about a billion times in retail, I find it personally insufferable. Shitty song with shitty meaning behind it.

 

[Granny Pie]

23rd
3.5 Points
Granny Pie

My Little Pony Theme Song

I think Granny was afraid that I might secretly like MLP. But what he didn't account for was that I'm simply ambivalent. This is not very good for an opening to an American cartoon, but it doesn't enrage me.

I
FUCKING
HATE
THIS
SONG
AND SO SHOULD YOU

 

[vonFiedler]

20th
5.5 Points
theangryscientist

Ending Beginning - The World Ends With You

I'm told this is the worst song in a good soundtrack. Maybe not a good strategy for this category, but also not a good introduction to TWEWY for me. Yep, this sounds like outsider music. Wouldn't want to listen to it.

 

[vonFiedler]

19th
6.3 Points
Texas Cloverleaf

I Want Candy - Aaron Carter

For some stupid reason I was gonna give this a lower score than the other pop music... but then I realized, fuck Aaron Carter. This was never good.

 

[vonFiedler]

18th
6.5 Points
KnightsofCydonia

Live It Up - Backlash

Getting more obscure, but not a whole lot worse yet. This is definitely pretty bad, but it sounds like the same shitty rock music people keep telling me I rob in other categories.

 

[vonFiedler]

17th
6.8 Points
Lightwolf

All Hail Shadow - Crush 40

That pandering. To be fair, it's a band with vocals by a singer who failed to succeed in any English speaking country, with lyrics written by a non-English speaker. But what's infuriating about Crush 40 isn't that they are the worst music ever... it's that they mediocre in an industry full of good music. There are 100s of video game franchises with better music than Modern Sonic... including Classic Sonic.

But like, you seem to have gone out of your way to pick the worst Crush 40 song (god I hope so), so somewhere subconsciously, you KNOW. "Obliterating everything that's not your friend" is so fucking Crush 40 I can't even.

 

[vonFiedler]

16th
7 Points
Blazade

Look Like Jesus - Lil B

I said I'd frown upon intentional badness. So now we get to songs where I'm like, is this guy fucking serious?

 

[vonFiedler]

15th
7.2 Points
Agape

Wittgenstein - M.A. Numminen

I don't know if this is bad or foreign. But I know what side I'm going to err on.

 

[Panic Station]

Okay, sit down, here's a story. Backlash- the US band, not the Swedish club music band- was a Pink Floyd cover band from Topeka who decided they were going to stop blinding themselves with lasers and smoke machines and do their own stuff. But their. Stuff. SUCKED! They named their first CD Circling The Drain because they KNEW they sucked! They couldn't sing, they couldn't play guitar, and they certain as FUCK couldn't play saxophone to save their entire families' lives. I listened to one and a half soul-sucking songs from their first cd, then broke it and buried the shards in an abandoned lot.

And then those fuckers found YouTube and remastered all their shitty stuff. I sent Von the worst of the remastered shit.

KNOW MY PAIN, DAMMIT

 

[vonFiedler]

14th
7.5 Points
The Quasar

Da Da Da - Trio

And then like, I know this is intentional, but what the fuck is this shit even? It's kinda rad and bad.

 

[vonFiedler]

13th
7.6 Points
Eagle4

The Gummy Bear Song

Not gonna lie about this. I just didn't want this full played. And you're all welcome.

 

[vonFiedler]

12th
7.7 Points
Former Hope

Fast Food Song - Fast Food Rockers

Kinda feel the same with this as that Gummy Bear song... It honestly makes a little mad that this was actually a cash in for someone.

 

[vonFiedler]

11th
7.8 Points
Yeti

Walmart - Mr. Ghetto

Wally wally wally wally. Truly the kind of trash I asked for. Gets boring after a while, though.

 

[vonFiedler]

10th
7.9 Points
Shubaka17

Big Enough - Kirin J Callahan

I'm pretty certain this was made with intention. But it was too awesome not to full play, so I gave it a score that would put it in exactly 10th.

 

[vonFiedler]

8th
8 Points
Steven Snype - UncleSam

Friday - Rebecca Black

That basic bitch entry. At least I don't think they knew how much this was pandering. Rebecca Black has made a lot more music since this came out...

 

[vonFiedler]

7th
8.4 Points
Asek

NANDA?! - GET REKT

This is immediately horrifying. You first think it can't be legitimate, but nope, this was actually someone's cash in attempt. Has anyone told the singer he sounds like Pee Wee Herman?

 

[vonFiedler]

6th
8.5 Points
Adam

Philosophy of the World - The Shaggs

Ah, I remember subbing Shaggs to Walrein. Thankfully, this is a different song. While it doesn't sound as bad as My Pal Foot Foot, it's almost worse because of just how juvenile the lyrics are. I mean, this is worse than Crush 40.

 

[vonFiedler]

5th
8.6 Points
AfroGear

The Baddest - Krispy Kreme

Looks like a party I was late to. Aren't children trying to be real musicians on youtube adorable? This one's lyrics are almost as bad as the last song, but it's the southern rapping that really makes this endearing.

 

[vonFiedler]

4th
8.7 Points
Cancerous

The Troopers

Somewhat of a quaint submission. An Iron Maiden cover band trying out a new singer. The band itself isn't even good, but when the guys starts singing... well, damn. What a great obscure submit.

 

[vonFiedler]

3rd
9 Points
Morgan

Chased Through the Woods By a Rapist - Waking the Cadaver

I'm just going to quote Morgan. "This band tried to invent pig squeal Metal. It didn't take off."

 

[vonFiedler]

2nd
9.1 Points
Da Letter El

Safe Computer - Wing

This feels like intentional and unintentional. Like, I'm sure these rappers wanted to make a goofy track with Wing and oh computer puns are dick jokes. But they also probably think they bring a lot more to the table than they actually do. What a great bad song.

 

[vonFiedler]

1st
9.5 Points
Jellicent

Fireworks - Yoko Ono

This one is just really special. She had no words for it, so neither do I.

 

[vonFiedler]