Smogon Premier League IX - Week 1

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marilli

With you
is a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Top Contributor Alumnusis a Past SPL Championis a Former Other Tournament Circuit Champion
won vs croven, gg
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/smogtours-gen7doublesou-340034

[2:52 PM] Level 51: Rawr x3 nuzzles how are you pounces on you you're so warm o3o notices you banned marsh o: someone's happy ;) builds your gothy laxy~ murr~ hehehe drums your belly you're so big :oooo curses up on your lack of fighting types it doesn't stop boosting ·///·
[3:00 PM] Level 51: returns you and lickies your figy berry dad1 likies (; nuzzles wuzzles I hope dad1 really likes $: wiggles butt and high horsepowers I want to see your big figy berry~ I have a little check o3o recycles berry can you please get my check~ puts fire punch on your ferro nyea~ its a seven star soul stealing strike check rubs your marsh ban can you help me pwease squirms pwetty pwease sad face gothlax needs to be punishable bites lip like it needs to be punishable really good~
[3:14 PM] Level 51: traps your fini as I recycle my berry I'm getting hungry. I can go for some berry returns your koko as my goth recycles you feel so frail :v heal pulses lax mmmm~ so cheesy trick rooms all over your HO your "balance" I like free KOs hehe puts taunt on goth and traps amoong oh god its too easy~ returns shroom punish my strat~ nyea~
[3:16 PM] Level 51: recycles more and eats berry I love your banned-marsh goodness bites figy please punish gothlax nyea~ curses on your volc so easy crits your celesteela salty goodness~ mmmm~
[3:17 PM] Level 51: yea so in conclusion im looking forward to SPL

relevant log
 

GGFan

Banned deucer.
Why didn't GGFan say GG? Isn't he a fan of that
What shall I say? Shall I utter an empty, blank remark that's as meaningful as your existence in this battlefield? Shall I express my disappointment over clearly having my battle won but having it taken away from me on multiple occasions by the vicissitudes of Lady Fortuna's wheel? Shall I resort to your, shall we say, childish "level?" I can understand why you would do this, for you are nowhere to be found in this tournament. While I was drafted by a supreme team that fought admirably despite the unfortunate odds placed before us, you are nothing more than a spectator, many of whom expected me to be brought down by our defeat.

Yes, I understand that my game was watched by two separate realms: the supportive and the negative. The supportive consisted of the noble, battle-hardened souls who could relate to all of my scars and anguish that I earned throughout my arduous odyssey in order to reach this point. The negative consisted of the sad, pathetic, embittered pre-pubescent teenagers and infantile adults who continue to exhibit just how socially inept they truly are by continuing to hold a grudge that is justified only by their schizophrenic reality. To all of you solipsistic wretches who watched two and a half hours of Pokemon in the hopes that I would lose, what you fail to realize is that your unabashed ignorance fuels not the fire that will burn down the legacy that I have built for myself, but rather only your petty egos. However, I am the true water bomb, and I have more than 51 of them, which I have expertly thrown to douse your miserable displays of cowardice and mobbing with this address after the first week of fighting.

I am proud of my performance. In one of the longest games of all time, I was clearly the superior warrior and only lost to circumstances beyond my control. Another thing all of you cowards must accept is that I don't have to prove anything to the likes of you. Please, rock back and forth in your sweat-laden armchairs to your heart's content while gorging on buckets of succulent, childish hatred and obsessive mocking. If I perform as well as I did every week, I will be happy no matter how many times I "win," and so will my team. Moreover, although I was sadly not victorious this week, my loss was inspiring and helped our team rally back. When cornered by the jaws of defeat, we drew our swords and spears, yelled "HIYAAAHHHHHH!," and mustered all of our strength, every bit of our resilience, and all of our latent powers to forge a triumphant comeback.

What is this look you gave me just now? "Latent powers?" Yes, I believe every person in this team is truly gifted or special in some way. I was blessed with endless patience, which is the mightiest gift of them all when dealing with grown men (and women, dare I say) who can't speak the English language coherently and have a penchant for writing like boorish savages. Now, I know what some of you may be thinking right now: "How dare you think you are more patient than me! You are not!" I speak only the truth, for if I were not patient I would have lost my composure like so many of the base, idiot gods in a Greek epic. In this context, the "gods" I deal with think they can bring me down easily, when in fact I am happier than I have ever been before. This week reassured me and our team of what exactly we are capable of--there is no greater thing to be cognizant of. We are cognizant of our limitless potential and ability to fight back from adversity.

What are you capable of? Since you don't have a sword in your possession, it seems the only thing you're good for is offering your "services" by sharpening others' with your mouth. For that you did not earn my anger like you wanted, but instead my pity. If you can't realize pity is not a good thing and fail to better yourself after receiving it, I have but one thing to say to you:

SWIM IN GARBAGE, O YOU GARBAGE.
 
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