Walrus Granny's Free Real Estate

Cat 1 Writeups!
vonFiedler: Limahl - Never Ending Story 1984
1.8
Why does this sound like a Napoleon Dynamite track?
Okay, so this is basically a 70s ballad, but with a mandolin in the background. I’m not gettin’ the foreign, man. In any sense of the word. They’re even singing in English.
… Legit tho, this could’ve totally worked on the Napoleon Dynamite soundtrack.
 
S0L1D G0LD: Dusk Ranger - Monster Mash (Ocarina/Accordion/Bagpipe Cover)
2.5
Starting off: This would be so much better if it had a good sound quality. There’s a continuous buzzing in the background, and the instruments echo through the short space between them and what sounds like a civilian-grade mic.
I generally really like both the ocarina and the accordion, but as background and backup… Maybe not as the centerpieces. I appreciate how much work this guy put into this, and you had a great idea. But the quality is just holding it back sooooo much. I’m sorry to say that, but it is. It just sounds bad.
SG: “Created by an independent artist for a local song contest (or so the description claims), this cover provides a fresh take on a beloved novelty song by re-imagining the classic holiday jingle as a melodic Celtic folk tune. The artist plays all the song's instruments, utilizing multiple recordings to create a truly unique experience for the listener, a choice which is reminiscent of the One-Man Band shows of yore. Unsurprisingly, the cover packs a good deal of Celtic flavor into its relatively short runtime, resulting in a surprisingly pleasant and familiar-sounding instrumental. Finally, the remix distinguishes itself from the original with its drastically different sound, giving the piece a strong identity of its own which allows it to easily stand apart from its parent song.”
 
ullar: Justin Timberlake - Senorita
2.7
Oh, JT. Why do I always expect so much from you. You have some really great songs, JT. You really do. This one…
Is not one of them.
This hardly feels Latino, sadly. It feels very loungey, but not Spanish Lounge-y. The saxophone helps fix that, but nowhere near enough by how much the piano and drumbeat just turn the song into generic lounge music.
Man, JT doesn’t even say any Spanish, besides senorita. How the cuss does he expect people to understand him when he sits there in a Spanish lounge singing American lounge music in English?
*sigh*
JT. I really respect you, dude. You have some great things goin’. Stick to your genre. You’re great at it. I love you.
 
Walrein: tricot - Ochansensu-Su
3.2
Okay. So they took American 70s rock, made it a touch groovier, and then added Japanese girls. I can totally imagine English lyrics overtop this track, and while I like the drumset a lot during the instrumentals, while she’s singing, it just reverts to a simple beat, while the guitar pieces feel uninspired and repetitive throughout. I want songs that, if they’re in another language, I can’t even imagine putting English over it, because then they’d lose their authenticity. This isn’t authentic. It’s just Japanese girls playing American music.
 
EpicDrill: BABYMETAL - Line!
4.9
Whoo. That’s a start. At first, it just feels like Running in the 90s, but with a guitar. But then, about 20 seconds in, the real electronic melody kicks in, and takes that guitar and bass backing to a new level. This whole song is a huge case of whiplash, as one second, I have a sick 90s electronic feel, and then cute Japanese girls, and then 80s rock, and then 2000s Hip-Hop, and then some motherfucker death-metal-screaming into the microphone. Where the fuck did that come from??
I like some of this, the chorus especially, when all these feels combine into one, and when the electronic synth comes back, but during the verses, I seriously got whiplash from the way it jumped around all those genres. From a name like BABYMETAL, however, I just get the feeling that this song was meant to be a giant clusterfuck of genres, which helps it from tanking, I suppose.
P.S. For some reason, I keep humming Caramelldansen over the chorus.
They mash together really well, oddly enough.
 
Martin: Bob Marley - Buffalo Soldier
4.8
Yep. This is Bob Marley. Groovy, soft, slow. I like this song less than I should.
For my first listen, all I could do was sing Weird Al’s “Gonna Buy Me a Condo”. And then, on the second listen, I actually listened to the song. Sure, this isn’t something I would listen to normally, but I can respect it. I like the story, it’s well-told, in the classic Bob Marley. Not a good sub, but not awful. I can respect it.
 
LightWolf: Republic - Szallj el Kismadar
5.8
Hm. Jazzy. The drumset starts off with a Jamaican feel. And then the guitar kicks in, the acoustic strings slide in, and the string bass starts thumping, and suddenly we have an Eastern European feel on our hands. I like those bass guitar touches. Man, this song is, like, half-bass. We got a slow kick-drum beat, the string bass pluckin’ along, with a bass guitar backing. Nice, smooth song. Again, tho, it’s a song that sounds different, but maybe not foreign. It’s more foreign than some others, but not quite there.
I do like the “Doo-wop shoo-wop” parts, just as an fyi.
LW: “A Hungarian classic. The bwop wop part brings a smile to me every time to this day. While simple, it's a song any Hungarian will find hard not to sing along. Contrary to what the title suggests, it's about sending a messenger bird to one's love.”
 
Shubaka17: Midnight Crew - Mbene
6.8
Okay. So we have an ELO feel, but with an… Ibo touch? The hand drum and clap backbeat is nice, and when the ELO feel drops out, I’m left with a… Yo, I don’t know what I’m left with. Is this a praise song? Cause I could’ve sworn he said “Jesus”, and this feels pretty church-y. Everything feels authentic, even the synth touches. It just never leaves a real impression on me. Sadly, I can do more that wish that I liked this song more. That’s the only thing holding it back.
Shub: “I found this band while trying to find a vaudeville song, and got incredibly confused at the different styles. can't deny it's fun and well done though, and i still have it in my vaudeville playlist,,,”
 
Steven Snype: Rangeela Re - Asha Bhonsle & Aditya Narayan
7.1
Fun Fact: I have very few brown friends. And the ones I do have were born in 1999, which really doesn’t count. Oh, and they were raised in a white, sheltered, conservative American community, so they’re basically white.
That being said, the song is nice. The drumbeat is groovy, and the singer’s voice is haunting, and there’s now way in hell I can put English lyrics over this madness. When the mandolin comes in, it’s really authentic and well-played, and I can only wish it was the main instrument. Sadly, it drops out, and the verse comes back. I honestly like the instrumentals a lot more than I like the singing. It’s cool and pretty at first, but quickly devolves into annoying repetition. And then a little girl starts singing, and I’m all like “Wut”. And then the song just continues. And never really picks up like I wanted it to.
Steven: “ask any of your brown friends born in the 90s and they'd remember this.”
 
KnightsofCydonia: Toki Tsukasadoru Juuni no Meiyaku by Yui Sakakibara
7.2
Okay, so, fun fact: I’m a closet weeb. What does that mean? It means I’ve never really gotten into anime, but that I’m much more closely antiquated with it than most others in my country would be. I mean, my whole fandom’s basis of music videos started as taking AMVs or Anime openings and throwing ponies on them. So a lot of my 2011 and 2012 era got me interested in a lot of that kind of music, even if I’ve never actually seen any of it. This song strongly reminds me of the Higurashi 2 opening, which, again, I’ve never actually seen before. Only heard it.
But this piece is interestingly powerful, given that I’m not watching the videos, and so have no idea what she’s singing. The piano harmony with the low string backing mixes very well with the metal touches of a solid drumset and guitar. Sadly, there’s one thing holding this back: the chorus feels like rock. It doesn’t feel quite as foreign as I would like. The verses help pull this up, but every single time the song really begins to pick up, it feels less and less foreign, and there really isn’t anything else that just screams “JAPANESE” like I wanted.
KOC: “I got the entire Steins;Gate series for my birthday and I've been watching it diligently since then. Hacking To The Gate is what comes to mind first when one thinks of Steins;Gate music, but I think the ending theme is an underrated and beautiful ballad.”
 
Myzozoa: M.I.A. - Boyz
7.5
Whoa. Subtract the vocal track, and I just got hit with a really strong Parov Stelar feel. The trumpet line is solid, and the wavering, but constant, synth lines demonstrate that very well. I like the instrumental parts a lot, because, on top of the instruments, her muted, electronic voice just feels… different, y’know? I found myself bobbing my head left and right during the instrumentals and the verses, but the chorus just feels like classic American pop repetition.
Not much to say about this track. It’s solid and consistent throughout, and only slightly annoys me. It doesn’t quite feel American, but it doesn’t quite feel foreign, either.
Myzo: “the french r bad”
 
ItsYaBoi1337: Enrique Iglesias - Subeme La Radio
7.6
I like Enrique. A lot. This takes a page from Shakira, and takes American pop, but adds a wonderful Latino touch. The feel, beat, and style is clearly American, but the plucky guitar in the back and the kettle drum accompanying the drumset is that wonderful touch. And Enrique… There’s just this way he just adds accents onto his words that feels sooooo not-English. Unlike, say, a high schooler speaking Spanish, a language I’m quite familiar with (because I was that high schooler speaking Spanish), and making it sound like English with his accents on the words and wording, Enrique just brings that authentic Latino speaking style, something I’m a big fan of.
 
Eagle4: El Guincho - Bombay
7.8
Okay, so I can speak a little Spanish.
And I think he was talking about the world. Like, as a whole, and how we should share it with each other and our animal friends. But he says “Come with me,” like we’re going on an adventure? Maybe it’s through the wonders of the world. I dunno. I’m not watching any videos.
Starting off, I really like that intro. Good synth (reminded me a little of “I Am the One”), followed by a strong kettle drum forebeat and drumset and clapping backbeats. The kettle drum melody then picks up, and the whole thing begins to feel like really authentic Caribbean. The music and beat remains consistent throughout, and back up his echoing verses very well. His lyrics and the instruments retain a good, cheerful energy, and subtly shift in between lines. The feel is generally consistent, and continues much of the same, and ends much like it begins: quickly.
 
Yeti: Los del Rio - Macarena
8.0
Funny. When I first started this, I really hoped for somebody, preferably Oddish., to send me this. It would have been hilarious from Oddish.
That being said, solid entry. The song is iconic, and really reminds me of some of the awkward times we all had in middle school. The lyrics are dumb, but it has a great instrumentation, and the two Mexican Mobsters do well. This song succeeds at being both incredibly American and incredibly international.
The lesson we learn from this video can be taken from the top comment: “Thots come in all races and ethnicities.” Watch out, boys. Thots abound.
Yeti: “The Macarena may be played in grade schools across America but it's decisively not in English - and they don't play the parts about how the singers are actually looking to cheat on their boyfriends. ayy lmao”
 
robocart9: Gumi - Echo
8.3
Fun Fact: I first heard this song because, after all these years, and despite disliking his new music, I still follow The Living Tombstone on Youtube. Apparently, he remixed this a few months ago. Combine it coming up in my subscription page, by TLT, and it being a Vocaloid remix, I decided to give it a whirl. It was okay, and made me want to listen to the original. Again, the original was pretty good, def better than The Living Tombstone remix.
But in all honesty, I have no idea how to feel about this song. It has a wonderful electronic backing and harmony, and you can definitely tell the difference in lyrics from “Traditional” English artists and then “Traditional” Japanese artists. The wording, lyrics, and even topic are subtly different, which definitely gives this a plus. I just can’t nail down just how foreign it feels. It feels different, but not foreign, per say.
Still a good song, tho. I think that’s what’s keeping it up, at this point.
 
DaLetterEl: Pokemon HGSS Ho-Oh battle
8.5
Aaaah. The DS. Easily my favorite sound engine, even if it’s not my favorite game engine. Now, the first thing that jumped into my head during this was the soundtrack to Pokemon Conquest. They both sound very similar, which is understandable, given they were on the same engine and were made by the same company. I’m veeeery familiar with the Conquest OST, so let me say that, going through some of the HGSS tracks again, I realized they reused a lot of sound assets from those games and put them into Conquest, a whole gen later.
Anyway, I like the “traditional” feel of the music. It gives me an image of a samurai in battle against the phoenix of the myths. The music has a lot of energy, always a plus in my book, driven by the consistent timpanis in the back. Some nice instruments come in and make an appearance: the everpresent strings from Diamond and Pearl, a sick bass in my left ear, and that wonderful synth-y sound that basically defines Gen 4 and 5 Pokemon music.
DLE: “A fantastic Pokemon battle OST song that sounds Japanese (and awesome) to its core.”
 
Nightblitz42: Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeon - Fire Island Volcano
8.9
Holy shit, it’s Wind Waker.
No, wait, it’s Mystery Dungeon.
Fun fact, I’ve never had the chance to play any Mystery Dungeons beyond Explorers, but its good to hear that the intense music style still remains. It makes me feel like a badass for one-shotting little Cleffas when I just touch the A button.
Now, this definitely feels foreign. For some reason, however, I just can’t pin down exactly what country. I’ve heard this style before, but I don’t remember where, and I’ve heard those distinctive instruments before, but, again, I don’t remember where. Is this Indian? Hawaiian? It’s one of the two, and I’m kinda ashamed that I can’t quite name it. Wait, is that a didgeridoo? Is it Australian? Fuck, man.
I like the intensity, I like the pounding timpani, I like how the acoustic guitar is both a harmony and a beat because of how constant it is, and I like the variety of colorful instruments. I really don’t like how abrubtly it ends, but I suppose that happens sometimes with video game OSTs. But all-in-all, easily the most varied track here in this cat. So good job for that.
Nightblitz: “Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeon's sountrack is notable for using a wide variety of instruments from all around the world. This song, though, stands out as having an especially unorthodox blend of musical styles: digeridoo, Irish violin, and bagpipes all working together. It's a combination only made possible by a brilliant percussion section that ties the assembly together like glue.”
 
Aubisio: Luis Fonsi - Despacito (ft. Daddy Yankee)
9.0
Thank GOD you sent me the original. That’s all I have to say about that.
But about the actual song… It takes the exact opposite approach than Enrique, Shakira, or Pitbull by making the song first feel authentically Latino, and THEN adding the American touch by throwing in Daddy Yankee’s rap. And I like that more than I thought I would. The instruments feel great, especially that acoustic guitar, but the drumbeat is simple, but solid, and plays well with everything else.
Now, opinion time. The fact that the remix of this is the most popular Youtube song of all time is a great shame against my country, and I’m sorry to Luis Fonsi for my country’s “top” musicians fucking up his song, and then having the country forget about him to focus on DJ Snake and JB. However, the original is wonderfully done, and I’m glad it still gives Fonsi some good revenue. This is probably his “one-hit-wonder” song, but it’s a damn good one-hit-wonder.
 
TMan87: Jacques Brel - La Valse à Mille Temps
9.2
I’m so glad I bugged you enough. This is almost exactly what I’m looking for, and it’s lovely.
This song starts almost like a lullaby. The soft acoustic in the back is just backing up a light piano. And then this guy’s voice kicks in. I really like the French language, and how it just oozes over my ears. The waltz comes waltzing in to escort him, one of my weaknesses. I like how different instruments keep coming into the waltz and replacing others. The flute is a wonderful beginning to it, and when the accordion comes in to relieve the flute, *moan*. None of the instruments play the same thing, and instead just blend together into one wonderful, energetic French Waltz. I find myself focusing more on the instrumentation than this guy’s amazing voice and his spitting out of the French language. He’s clearly very skilled, which is made clear the longer the song goes on, and the faster it gets. He’s very passionate, clearly, and the instrumentation reflects that. I actually dislike just how abrupt the ending is, and that costs it a few tenths of a point. We’ll see how it does when I finish scoring, but this is a very solid entry, and I’m glad you came in to share it.
TMan: “Alright, so if I had to explain why I like the song, it's because it sounds like Paris in like the middle of the XXth century. Traditional "French" instruments, including if my ear is not too bad an accordion. It's also a great feat in terms of rhythm and it even includes a few play of words ("une valse à mille temps"/"une valse a mis l'temps").
And, well, it's freaking Jacques Brel.”
 
Rodan: Bonjour Suzuki
9.6
The beginning was nice. It felt very electronica at first, which I liked, but was concerned about given the category. Her voice comes in soft and gentle, in that breathy, airy, anime-y way, but again, I was concerned by the English. The beat keeps picking up, however, and so do the distinct instrumentals, wonderfully crossing a hard electronic feel with wind-chime-like percussion. It fades out for a sec, and then comes back in. By the time the beat drops, I found myself wondering whether this was French or Japanese, and if this was going anywhere. And then that beat drop. Wow. It had a nice, fast, wavering build which dropped into a great blend of sounds involving an overzealous xylophone, her voice picking up in energy, while still keeping the solid electronic beat. It’s nice and groovy, and stays that way. This song feels like, if Shelter didn’t exist, this could’ve fooled me for a Porter and Madeon collab.
Rodan: “I love Bonjour Suzuki so much that I uploaded this song to my own personal Youtube. Her voice is so precious sounding, like a light breeze.”
 

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