Serious Being Quiet or Mute

[Conni]

So yeah I kinda made this thread because I was interested to see if people had the same "problem" or just the nature of being pretty quiet, because I find myself not talking a lot which is a stark contrast to what I am on the internet because I'm very talkative on discord and PS!, but most of the times in real life, I never find myself talking a lot, I don't know if it has to do with my mood but I just don't talk, not because I don't have anything to talk about.

I don't know if its just me, but I only talk when necessary, like if its important or out of my free will I talk, but then most of the time I just don't talk because I think I don't need to, I'm not mute or anything and I haven't been through anything traumatizing enough to make me mute but I just find it more easier and understanding to just listen and only reply if needed. I don't know if this shows signs of being anti-social but I'm really not because my friends say I'm easily approachable, and if someone does ask me, of course i'd reply, but I'm not the type of person that'd talk all they long about any type of topic, I'm just the type of person who talks when I feel like talking or when its important, I talk when questioned or when I want to talk to someone else.

I don't know how to really feel about this but I just wanted to see if other people have the same situation as me, sometimes I think I want to be more talkative but sometimes I just can't bring myself to talk, even though I know how in discord/PS!, maybe its just about my attitude? If someone has something to say about their experience about this or advice, then that's really good. I don't consider this a big problem but other people might so I think people who have this situation would be eager to see what other people think about this matter.

 

[Mr. Miner]

Yeah I completely understand how yah feel here. I just don't like being bothered by conversation that's unneccessary or just annoying. I've come to realize that some things are how they are for no reason. I enjoy talking online, but irl it's just not the same. I think it's normal for some people.

 

[magicin]

Back when I was younger I would often go weeks without speaking to anyone at school. The reason for this was mainly because I wanted to stay out of sight and lay low. I never really got called on in school and I didn't have any friends (lol) so it was pretty easy. Of course eventually I would need to answer a teacher about something or another so the longest I went was probably a month. I did this all through high school too.

Online I have always been a bit of a loud mouth, so I'm trying to scale back and speak less. For me personally, I find it way harder to make a statement online compared to real life.

 

[GotR]

I personally don't shut up, ever, but I have met a couple of people IRL who're similar. One of them explained it to me as 'I don't have any issues with talking, I just don't speak unless I have something specific to say', which really isn't a problem as long as you know you're doing it.

 

[Raidx]

I`m so happy there is a thread for this topic because I relate to it completely. I was diagnosed with selective mutism back when I was a kid and I NEVER, i mean NEVER talked in public (school, church, stores etc). Eventually I "grew" out of it but it transitioned from me being afraid to talk into me just simply not wanting to talk. Like now I don`t mind talking in public but I`m not one to start a conversation or say "hi" unless you greet me first. It may be an assholish thing to do but it`s just how I am unfortunately. Also I see a psychiatrist about this because since I really don`t like to talk to people in public it`s almost impossible for me to find a job (talking to customers, even job interviews are a pain). Maybe I went a little too deep here but I felt like this was the place to share my "story/situation" lol.

TL;DR I use to be afraid of talking, now I just simply choose not to talk pretty much because I don`t wanna be bothered/ don`t like talking to strangers.

 

[Jordanious]

It's likely you're a very analytical personality. The impression that consistent talking and conversation is a road to success hardly bears much visible proof in today's society. However, by all means if you desire to fit in more, let nobody stop you. There are definitely some benefits.

 

[HotFuzzBall]

that's still me, I'm one of those people who only talk when talked to. Even when I do talk to someone else, I have to like seize every ounce of coverage I have in order to proceed. However, once I get the ball rolling I find myself talking a lil' bit non stop, just getting to that point is like a mountain climb for me.

I believe the problem for me is because I'm always like afraid of judgement. I always find myself saying a bunch of general 1-word answers so there really isn't a way to judge me which ends up making the convo kinda awkward. I also find myself as sort of a "buzzkill" since I always feel like the conversation just ends whenever I try to join in, which makes me think that maybe what I said was dumb/irrelevant/or "wtf"

idk I feel that if people saw me on PS or irl they wouldn't register me as a shy person since I do tend to talk a lot, it just takes a lot of prep to get me to that stage. I also find myself enjoying quiet a lot of the times too, so I will rarely go out of my way to chat with someone

 

[ehT]

I'm in a weird place right now. As a recently out trans girl, I've found myself less and less comfortable with my voice, and can barely stand speaking for extended periods. In my later teens (16-19), I was very socially capable and talkative. I didn't particularly enjoy it, but I could hold myself quite handily at social events, work, school, etc. But dysphoria's turned that on its head, and I scarcely speak at all anymore, even to myself. This is since, along with the nauseating discomfort I feel towards my voice, I've also loosened the tight leash I once had on my social anxiety, and allowed myself to explore parts of myself I didn't allow myself to before. And the more I've introspected, the more I've realized that I'm a far more timid and socially cautious person than I've led myself to believe in the past, part of my personality that I had previously hand-waved as childish. When I was with others, I drowned out with social bombast, and when I was alone, with constant noise, either through music or mumbling to myself. It always confused me that I was able to spend an entire day alone in my room, but then come across as sociable and well put together the next, and I realize now that this is because my mind was always in the same place, on the same setting. I realize now that it was a coping mechanism: by denying myself silence, I denied myself the opportunity to truly sit down and examine myself, and allowed myself to run from the woman I knew myself to be deep down.

 

[smogon account]

yep. I don't say anything unless I have something specific to say. Sometimes I'll go days at a time without saying anything to another human being just because I don't really like talking. It's probably an extroversion thing, so I wouldn't worry about it, so long as you can function socially when you need to.

 

[zCheshrye]

to be honest i was always talkitive in school , lately tho i have been quite in school and class idk

 

[Flare]

I think it's being proven in most cases that people that are usually shy, quiet and stuff like that irl tend to be much more sociable in distant environments like Social Media and such. I am pretty much an example of that, I usually don't talk much, specially when there's a big crowd, I try to mentally isolate myself, but for some reason I feel super eager to socialize when I'm in chats like Smogon, PS, discord, stuff like that. It's quite an interesting part of the human behaviour.

 

[ryan]

your age and the people around you matter a lot. you say you talk a lot on ps and discord, which are places full of presumably like-minded people. in high school, you make due with the people around you, but in a lot of cases, esp if you're in a small town/area, the only thing you'll have in common with most of them is proximity. your "best friends" are the best of what's available, and the more availability the more likely you are to find better friends.

i felt like my friends in high school were the best people and the greatest friends i'd ever have, and now i only talk to literally one person i went to high school with. the rest of friends make me way happier than i ever was when i was in school. obv this is more than just because of those friends, but these people are like-minded individuals who genuinely care about me.

the point of all of this is that you'll probably want to talk more to people who you like more, and these people will come with time if you're younger and more restricted. you'll also have more to talk about as you experience more in life. none of this is to say there's anything wrong with being quiet, but for me and probably many more, being quiet and reserved went away as i grew.

 

[Ullar]

I used to barely talk at all. I'm told I was a quiet child, and I didn't socialize much in school. I feel this is partly due to my autism (which went undiagnosed until I was 16 lol), and partly due to the inherent belief that I was better and smarter and wiser than everyone else. Then again, if your formative years were in Vicksburg, Mississippi, it's hard to NOT feel that way if you gave a grain of sense.

Since then, I've definitely changed. I've recently changed to a different medication than the one I was using for years, and I don't shut up. I had a brief wakeup call about this last night, seeing as the combination of me walking quickly a decent distance, being a fatso, and talking everybody's ear off wore me the hell out. I don't know if it was a panic attack or what, but I couldn't focus, breathe, focus, type (the users in my Discord servers can attest to that x.x), and my heart was going a mile a minute.

My psychiatrist recommended I stop the pill, and it's leaving my system now. I guess why I'm posting this is because I know how it can be a real shock to feel your inhibitions regarding conversation suddenly lifted; I'm regulating myself irl by over-enunciating my words atm. (I feel like my actually retarded cousin who also overemphasizes; given his life 'choices', that's a minor blow to my own ego.)

I've been on both of the opposite ends of this, from shut-in to won't-shut-up. I hope everyone finds a happy medium.

 

[DreamPrince]

I know exactly how you feel. Ever since I was 5, I've always been very shy. I used to never " hang out " with other kids, because of it, my teachers thought me as some one of needed medical aid. My parents have fought for me, saying I didn't need medical aid. Although my mother began saying I had Autism, which hurt me even more, since I didn't have Autism. She's gotten over that thought now, so I guess I forgive her as well. I had friends, just didn't socialize at school very much. This aloof behavior continued until very recently until 10th grade, which is now, where I continued to be aloof until some of my friends started calling me for lunch whenever it happens, and now we hang out regularly. Sadly, due to failing and challenging math courses my school mandates, I have to leave the school to a new school with less severe requirements for math, so I have to say goodbye to them as well, so there's that to deal with now.

 

[Psychobuzz]

I'm also a quiet person. 'Nuff said

 

[BlizzardHero]

There's nothing wrong with not wanting to talk to people, or wanting to excessively talk with people. Much like how people develop different genetic traits at conception, such as hair color or body type, people can develop different biochemical responses to different stimuli. Some gain pleasure or at least social catharsis by integrating and interacting with others, while others can develop anxiety from those exact same situations.

The question of whether these traits are developed by nature, or by nurture, have continued to plague many a psychologist, though most agree biochemical responses are developed by a combination of both, leaning on the nurture side (though this is conjecture mixed with trial and error with infants). Your environment probably played a huge role in shaping what you enjoy and don't enjoy. However, almost all agree that unless your personality and its quirks places an undue stress upon your person, such that it causes disruption to your normal processes, it's perfectly normal.

Personally, I rarely talk with anyone, unless I'm asked a specific question or I'm given opportunity to showcase my epic knowledge repository and educate the peons, bwahaha! I have a question that I cannot possibly solve on my own. However, it does not mean I ever stop listening, or that I'm being rude to individuals, its just that I find I perform better when I seek information on my own, and don't spend time on frivolous pursuits of small talk (probably why I don't have any active social media accounts, I just don't have use for them). I'd much rather spend my time learning about history, or learning how things work, or if I must talk, actively participating in scholarly discussions with people who may not share my viewpoint so that I may understand theirs.

To restate, as long as it doesn't negatively affect how you operate, just be happy with yourself and your personality, and understand it's not a problem, it's just a state of personality among many.