Social LGBTQIA+

[hayedenn]

I think what you will eventually learn Aqua Jet is that one of the issues that queer communities (especially radical queer communities) have with centrists or people who play "devil's advocate" when it comes to advocacy regarding human rights is that sure, you may be TECHNICALLY correct that "not all Republicans are Nazis" however:

1. In institutional politics, conservative centrists oftentimes fail to rebuke their far more radical colleagues, and,
2. Conservative centrists will often act as if they are not radical but will then vote the same as those who are radical

This is what you see with pundits such as Ben Shapiro, who are like "woah I'm not a Nazi or fascist like my other Daily Wire colleagues" (such as Matt Walsh) but then repeat nearly identical talking points as them. Moderate Republican politicians may not say the same exact things as MTG or Ron Desantis etc. but they vote veryyy similarly.

The reason you're getting so much pushback from people here is because we all know where this type of debate goes. Playing technicalities misses the forest for the treets; when people say "all Republicans are Fascists" they mean that anyone who is politically aware of what the Republican party is doing and actively chooses to support them is endorsing all of their most radical views even if they do not agree with all of them. It's a matter of consequence, which is what is most important when it comes to electoral politics. This is the same with the analogy of "if 9 are sitting at a table and 1 Nazi sits down blah blah" because the others at the table, if they choose to remain, are saying that it is okay for a Nazi to be within their group. When less radical Republicans sit with MTG and say that her views are okay, that it is fine for someone who associates with actual Nazi Nick Fuentes to be one of them, they are saying that Nazism is okay. I know that they may not "technically" be Nazis, but it is the consequences of this association that matter.

This devil's advocate technicality song and dance serves nothing but to a) feel superior to others and b) play defense for the right who use these same arguments to avoid facing consequences for their actions, and it's a lesson that I hope you learn soon.

 

[Sabelette]

In unrelated news, yesterday I tried telling my parents over the phone “hey i’m gonna wear nail polish next time i see you” cause they’d been less antagonistic than usual. It didn’t go over well and I got accused of “rocking the boat.” I ended up saying “if that’s too much you’d hate how I look right now” and hanging up. I’d done myself up nice - painted nails, femme clothes, a crop top, spent like 4 hours on my hair, I was looking amazing… and they would have disowned me if they saw that. Fucking sucks, but I never expected to keep my family when I did this anyway.

Happy pride. I look good, I feel good, and things are coming up me, so fuck them and all the other people who decided to make an issue of me being myself. I’ve never felt more confident in myself, my decisions, or my looks than I do now, and nobody will shame me out of it. I wish the same for you all, wherever you are in your own journey.

 

[Osukid2811]

I just wanted to step in here to say as a straight guy I have an incredible amount of respect for how well you articulated your response to a lot of people who (in my opinion) are arguing in fairly poor faith or without a ton of perspective in a thread meant to uplift the queer community. Adeleine

Interacting with people who argue in this fashion happens to me a lot where I live, it really irks me in a way where it feels hard to put up a defense without coming off as irrational or upset. I'm gonna use a lot of what you've said in your last two posts, hopefully to be able to respond in better ways.

 

[Sabelette]

I just wanna say i really do not care for people lecturing us about non-violence or compassion to people who inflict violence on us daily. Violence is more than queer-bashing, it’s the entire fucking system we live in. I’ve been trying not to be too inflamed about this but holy shit shut up already, ESPECIALLY if you aren’t queer yourself, and even if you are, maybe consider that you’re clearly coming from a more privileged position than some of us. Your thing about death rate reeks of the privilege of someone who hasn’t ever had to worry about getting basic healthcare and doesn’t understand how these stats are counted - i can assure you, we are being killed, and it doesn’t always look like a Nazi with a knife or a gun. It’s medical neglect, poverty, denial from jobs and services because we “look trans,” it’s the daily stress that wears down our bodies. The life expectancy for nonwhite trans women like me is 35. Shut up and stop acting like you have the barest understanding of my struggle from googling a couple numbers.

Regarding violence: during Stonewall and the following riots, a lot of white cis gay men complained that the rest of us - lesbians, trans people, nonwhite queer people - were being too loud, too violent, wanted change “too fast,” and in the process were actually damaging our cause and stopping us (really, just the white cis gay men) from getting assimilated and accepted. Similar things happened to every civil rights movement; MLK famously wrote a whole thing about the “white moderate.” That’s what’s happening here, and all i can say is: fuck that. Stonewall was a riot and it worked. When the enemy is violent, to be violent back is self-defense, not something to condemn. We have tried to argue for our rights, protest peacefully, and every other stupid pointless exercise that the moderates and liberals tell us is the actual way for progress, and the result is we get beaten, arrested, and killed. We have given them a chance to show us humanity and they have doubled down. So please, shut up. You are not original. You are not special, you are not showing any sort of intelligence here. You are the latest repetition of a cowardly, lukewarm, unnuanced opinion that “violence is bad” because you’ve never needed to use it to preserve your life or your humanity and you don’t care to protect the lives of the oppressed. You are one of an interminable number of terminal centrists who would rather be in the middle than actually be challenged to imagine that one side might be right. If we went back 150 years, you would be arguing for us to see the humanity of the slaveholder and understand his position; you would have condemned revolt and demanded the enslaved person debate the slaver with compassion. Grow up and find your damn spine or get out of the way of the rest of us.

 

[Cancel cult]

I just wanna say i really do not care for people lecturing us about non-violence or compassion to people who inflict violence on us daily. Violence is more than queer-bashing, it’s the entire fucking system we live in. I’ve been trying not to be too inflamed about this but holy shit shut up already, ESPECIALLY if you aren’t queer yourself, and even if you are, maybe consider that you’re clearly coming from a more privileged position than some of us. Your thing about death rate reeks of the privilege of someone who hasn’t ever had to worry about getting basic healthcare and doesn’t understand how these stats are counted - i can assure you, we are being killed, and it doesn’t always look like a Nazi with a knife or a gun. It’s medical neglect, poverty, denial from jobs and services because we “look trans,” it’s the daily stress that wears down our bodies. The life expectancy for nonwhite trans women like me is 35. Shut up and stop acting like you have the barest understanding of my struggle from googling a couple numbers.

Regarding violence: during Stonewall and the following riots, a lot of white cis gay men complained that the rest of us - lesbians, trans people, nonwhite queer people - were being too loud, too violent, wanted change “too fast,” and in the process were actually damaging our cause and stopping us (really, just the white cis gay men) from getting assimilated and accepted. Similar things happened to every civil rights movement; MLK famously wrote a whole thing about the “white moderate.” That’s what’s happening here, and all i can say is: fuck that. Stonewall was a riot and it worked. When the enemy is violent, to be violent back is self-defense, not something to condemn. We have tried to argue for our rights, protest peacefully, and every other stupid pointless exercise that the moderates and liberals tell us is the actual way for progress, and the result is we get beaten, arrested, and killed. We have given them a chance to show us humanity and they have doubled down. So please, shut up. You are not original. You are not special, you are not showing any sort of intelligence here. You are the latest repetition of a cowardly, lukewarm, unnuanced opinion that “violence is bad” because you’ve never needed to use it to preserve your life or your humanity and you don’t care to protect the lives of the oppressed. You are one of an interminable number of terminal centrists who would rather be in the middle than actually be challenged to imagine that one side might be right. If we went back 150 years, you would be arguing for us to see the humanity of the slaveholder and understand his position; you would have condemned revolt and demanded the enslaved person debate the slaver with compassion. Grow up and find your damn spine or get out of the way of the rest of us.

this whole "us vs them" is the whole source of the conflict. stop dividing people into groups, and work on breaking down barriers. im not saying dont use violence, as while ideal, that isnt always an option, but i feal you are being a bit hypocritical. i want to make it clear. I AM NOT BEING AGGRESIVE WHATSOEVER. i just think you need a different perspective. Im not saying you dont have a right to be angry, you absolutely do. i admit that i will likely never know your struggle, and nothing i say will be able to adress the hardships you have to endure. but make sure your anger dosent lead to hate. hate dosent help anyone. no one here is judging you. no one here wants to hurt you. this is a safe space for you to vent about your struggle, and we will listen and comfort you. and its ok of you get frustrated at us for not being able to understand what you have gone through. but dont hold it against us. if i come off as insensitive, i am sorry. it is not because i dont feel sorry for you, i just have a hard time communicating sometimes. i apoligize deeply if i made you feel unheard, and in hindsight, i probobly couldve done a better job suporting you. i probobly sounded like a priveleged asshole, and i am sorry. happy pride month everyone, and i wish you all the best.

 

[cityscapes]

this whole "us vs them" is the whole source of the conflict. stop dividing people into groups, and work on breaking down barriers. im not saying dont use violence, as while ideal, that isnt always an option, but i feal you are being a bit hypocritical. i want to make it clear. I AM NOT BEING AGGRESIVE WHATSOEVER. i just think you need a different perspective. Im not saying you dont have a right to be angry, you absolutely do. i admit that i will likely never know your struggle, and nothing i say will be able to adress the hardships you have to endure. but make sure your anger dosent lead to hate. hate dosent help anyone. no one here is judging you. no one here wants to hurt you. this is a safe space for you to vent about your struggle, and we will listen and comfort you. and its ok of you get frustrated at us for not being able to understand what you have gone through. but dont hold it against us. if i come off as insensitive, i am sorry. it is not because i dont feel sorry for you, i just have a hard time communicating sometimes. i apoligize deeply if i made you feel unheard, and in hindsight, i probobly couldve done a better job suporting you. i probobly sounded like a priveleged asshole, and i am sorry. happy pride month everyone, and i wish you all the best.

this stuff isn't just internet debates. i know so many transfems who are struggling for housing, finding work, and existing in public because of these people. if pressed about it, conservatives would either deny these struggles or say they were deserved. some entities i know have this framework thing where they call conservatives "abusers" and note similarities between conservative methods of argumentation and methods of abuse in relationships. personally i don't think that's universally applicable but this is a textbook case of where it's useful.

how many chances must we give people who have told us they are unwilling to change? why are we, the ignored, talked-over, and harassed ones, being tasked with extending the olive branch? i am not "debating" a matt walsh fan. doing so does not help my friends in any way whatsoever. the best i can do is keep surviving and saving my energy for people i care about.

 

[Lalaya]

this whole "us vs them" is the whole source of the conflict. stop dividing people into groups, and work on breaking down barriers. im not saying dont use violence, as while ideal, that isnt always an option, but i feal you are being a bit hypocritical. i want to make it clear. I AM NOT BEING AGGRESIVE WHATSOEVER. i just think you need a different perspective. Im not saying you dont have a right to be angry, you absolutely do. i admit that i will likely never know your struggle, and nothing i say will be able to adress the hardships you have to endure. but make sure your anger dosent lead to hate. hate dosent help anyone. no one here is judging you. no one here wants to hurt you. this is a safe space for you to vent about your struggle, and we will listen and comfort you. and its ok of you get frustrated at us for not being able to understand what you have gone through. but dont hold it against us. if i come off as insensitive, i am sorry. it is not because i dont feel sorry for you, i just have a hard time communicating sometimes. i apoligize deeply if i made you feel unheard, and in hindsight, i probobly couldve done a better job suporting you. i probobly sounded like a priveleged asshole, and i am sorry. happy pride month everyone, and i wish you all the best.

something something the tolerance paradox, it's a cheap argument but it always makes the point clear on why you can't just attempt infinite times to do a Persuasion check

Related: gee I sure wonder why it's always the LGBT people being told to endure, talk and quite literally never faulting or putting any sort of weight on the other party with these stupid ass posts

@ any person that wants to "support" us like this: Don't.
Do something that helps bring an actual change instead of telling us to endure, we know that too well already
And if your question is still "why it's always us versus them?" it's quite simple: it's a war to survive we're literally forced to take part in, nothing more and nothing less

(also if your argument starts with "I will never understand you" then simply stop writing a post so empty it just makes every reader nauseous, even if you mean well, and yes, I sure as hell will take it on you and anyone else that is part of the problem, or complicit enough to tell us to eat dirt and "talk")

edit: this is towards anyone that wants to fill this thread with a similar post or already did, not just this one

happy pride :]

 

[Cancel cult]

dear god, everything i say makes it worse. im not trying to offend anyone, and im sorry for everyone i offended. im gonna shut up now.

 

[Triple777 Vinny]

does anyone here struggle with internalized homophobia/transphobia? i do and its not fun.

 

[Kaiju Bunny]

Happy Pride, all! Hope you folks are having a wonderful month so far c:

I wanted to share an absolutely lovely experience I had not too long ago involving pride and I figured sharing here would help spread the good vibes!

For context, I manage a candy store at the local mall and when we have candy that's damaged, expired, etc, we generally give away the stuff we've already had/don't want to other stores in the mall and it generally brightens peoples' days. One such store that we deliver to a lot is Build-A-Bear, which is only a couple stores down from us.

We had a few damaged tubes of caramel popcorn, so I figured I'd give some to them and when I went in, I was immediately greeted by the Assistant Manager, who not only appreciated the candy, but also suddenly asked me if our store was doing anything for pride (we were; we have a table set up to celebrate with pride colors and we have a few pride stickers we keep specifically up at our registers at all times, regardless of the month). The assistant manager then said they were making custom pride flag bracelets for everyone and encouraged me to request one and tell my coworkers about it. This, of course, prompted a conversation about discovery and a very wholesome and validating discussion regarding gender and sexuality. I explained how sometimes I bounced between gender because I couldn't tell which one really fit me more (between demigirl and agender girl), but explained how one was... A bit more controversial than the other for pretty obvious reasons. My sexuality I was more confident with and told this to them and they actually started taking notes so they could look into it more which honestly meant a lot to me considering most people I had conversations with regarding gender and sexuality left me feeling awkward at best. They actually explained how they just recently discovered their own gender as well, which was Neutrois!

Just one day later, they come in with not just one, but three bracelets they had made for me, which are shown below!

1. I couldn't believe they actually remembered the fact I mentioned agender girl (top right)
2. When they made the demigirl bracelet (top left), they added the blue bead because "just in case you're feeling a little more masculine one day!"
3. The fact that they said their favorite to work on was the bottom bracelet and took so much time and effort to really make it look like the respective flag meant more to me than I can really put into words.

I've never quite had such a pleasant and uplifting experience like this, and even now, I'm still kinda beaming from it n.n

I hope you all continue to have a wonderful month! Take care!



(Try to ignore the fact that one of them blatantly says "simp" on them lmfao. I won't be able to explain)

 

[Sabelette]

(Try to ignore the fact that one of them blatantly says "simp" on them lmfao. I won't be able to explain)

This whole story is lovely and super cute and and i’m super happy for you! It’s so nice to just feel affirmed in gender identities outside the binary.

I quoted this last bit cause it’s such a coincidence for me, check this bracelet out that my partner made for me years ago :D

 

[Style_Dota]

If any New Yorkers are going to the parade today, hope y'all have a lovely time!

 

[antemortem]

Mike Dec luring the New York City gays out of hiding to expose themselves itt

 

[Posho]

period

 

[Mova]

I wish police were charged double at shops to either repel them or make them compensate for their fuck-ups, as opposed to getting discounts or free shit when everyone else pays exorbitant prices for stuff like food.

I mention this in the PokePride thread for reasons some of you might already know.

 

[Ren]

this pride month has felt so much more discouraging than the last few pride months with the uptick in public displays of homophobia/transphobia and how comfortable these people seem to be displaying their hateful beliefs on the internet and irl so I wanted to share a pride month W and would love for others to do the same just to spread some positivity:

things are going super well in my personal life ever since i moved to tokyo. japan isn't super well known for being progressive but I met a few regular students who were really curious and actually ended up going to their first pride parade :) and that was such a good feeling.

I'm also just so incredibly in love right now - with a guy, with life, with the friends I have, it feels like I'm in a place where I can happily be myself. there'll always be people who think I shouldn't have rights just because I'm not straight, but I'm super fortunate to be in a place rn where people in my immediate circle are receptive and supportive

 

[plznostep]

OMG o/
my dumbass only discovered this thread now, happy pride everyone ik its almost over but you know they say, better late then never right :D

Edit: just had the thought of using this post to come out on the site, if you couldn't tell already, I am very gay, but also i'm non-binary :3
im not exactly the most vocal about it because I haven't really come out to people I know irl atm since it's very scary and i've seen people get bullied for that kind of stuff which is very discouraging. If your curious, i'm fine with all pronouns :>
again, happy pride to everyone, i hope you enjoy the last few days of pride month :3

 

[StarKirb94]

I logged back into this forum after a few months since I last made any posts here, and while I was at it I updated my profile a little bit, including checking a different set of pronouns and I realized. I created an account here in 2019. That was wayyy before I figured out I was transgender and started getting comfortable with different pronouns. I might've only had "He/Him" here when I first created my profile or something, I don't remember exactly.

But something about realizing that, and seeing how much I changed in some regards, how I figured more about my own gender and such ever since, something about that felt really nice.

Not to say that I have gender matters entirely figured out for myself or anything, that's getting into very personal subjects. But still, I appreciate the nice feelings with what I mentioned fsgdgdjd, any chance to feel nice about your own gender identity and how you got to realizing more stuff about it and such is very appreciated.

 

[Candelia]

So, a number of things.

I attended my first pride festival, I was wowed the entire time. Admittedly, I was both inspired and subconscious about advancing my femininity, because everyone was so pretty and so fabulous—I blurted compliments and got a few smiles, which made my heart flutter. Plus, I got a ton of advice, support, and some free swag. Is... Is that what being truly happy feels like?

Second, today I discovered and watched Nimona. I 100% recommend it, the main characters represent really well, and thank fucking god Netflix snatched it from Disney. Common Disney L, and uncommon Netflix W?

okay yeah that's it, local trans idiot going bye bye

 

[Ancien Régime]

hi i'm ancien regime/bal-sagoth (oh my god i was such an edgy cringey person back then fuck me i was 16 i get a pass) you may remember me from being a decent RSE player like a decade and a half ago, it turns out im also like, a girl and shit. Smogon was literally my first real online community and competitive pokemon was where I met my wife and my longest/best friend so it feels appropriate for me to say this here. I'm still very VERY baby but holy shit I'm happy in ways I didn't even know were possible for me. Hardest decision of my life (after being in semi-denial slash repression for a year) but also very obviously one of the best ones.

also just WHEN did this site become so queer. I mean, its still Pokemon so i should have expected it, but it was NOT like this 15 years ago. what have i been missing out onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

 

[Catalisador]

I just wanted to share that I fucking LOVE being trans and couldn't be happier with who I am right now!! but damn not being able to express my femininity as well as I'd like because of my famility kinda sucksss (but as soon as my next paycheck drops I'm going to the mall IMMEDIATELY to buy myself my first dress)!!!

 

[Isa]

stockholm pride was today and it was a blast

the local ace/aro group that im a part of handed out small business cards with our instagram/facebook socials during the parade to people we identified that had ace and/or aro flags or other identifiers. it was genuinely great. big recommend

i love the parade it's so much fun every year

 

[jawsome274]

am now currently realizing the irony of a transfem by chance getting a male-locked pokemon as her profile picture by complete chance

anyways, name is rose/mipha, i use she/her and fae/faer and i used to be pretty active in mons while atm i sorta just larp and click/spam unsets on ladder. anyways um. please listen to she/her/hers i am BEGGING you please. trans artist (shocker ik) and play if found too its an awesome trans game and while i could go on about how awesome that game is i wanna bring up this one song by she/her/hers that just... idk i have been thinking abt it a lot recently if u couldnt tell by my disc status

i mean first of all this goes hard second of all... i mean damn after i listened to this it started to like influence how i thought of my trans identity. i knew there were some people who were fine with not passing - i mean i was one of them - but this song brings up a completely different idea: not WANTING to pass. living visibly trans and preferring it that way. and honestly, considering that my dysphoria is not so bad that it is crippling if i dont look like a perfect cis woman... id like it that way too. to pass means to give up my place in the trans community almost. i mean sure, i can still interact, i still have my stories to tell and its not like being trans WOULDNT effect my passing life. but im still losing that part of me, i wont be able to be there to give that closeted kid someone to see themselves in, i wont be able to stand alongside my other trans friends knowing that im not posing the same threat to the transphobes up at the top by virtue of me being effectively a cis woman in many peoples eyes. knowing that the centrists and conservatives would accept me now that ive managed to successfully blend in with their numerous white able bodied traditionally attractive cis women. the fact id have to play their game and then, even if i didnt want to, id naturally be pushing them forwards. am i supposed to be prideful of that?

this isnt to hate on trans women looking to pass, you can do whatever youd like. but for me, this is how i see it, if i ever get to a point in my transition where im passing on a regular basis (as years and years of hormone therapy will do to you), you'd better believe im making it clear that im as trans as fucking possible. i will wear a trans flag pin at minimum as much as i can if not always and you shouldnt be surprised to see possibly even more. i will introduce myself as a trans woman. i will include my transness in the conversation when applicable. this is part of who i am and if i try to hide it im only taking a step back in both all our progress as lgbt folks and in my own place in the world.

 

[Athyestic]

very gay very closeted very eepy lesbian transfem here life isn't awesome but i love being a girl whenever i can be
mostly posting to watch the thread tbh

 

[Ancien Régime]

am now currently realizing the irony of a transfem by chance getting a male-locked pokemon as her profile picture by complete chance

anyways, name is rose/mipha, i use she/her and fae/faer and i used to be pretty active in mons while atm i sorta just larp and click/spam unsets on ladder. anyways um. please listen to she/her/hers i am BEGGING you please. trans artist (shocker ik) and play if found too its an awesome trans game and while i could go on about how awesome that game is i wanna bring up this one song by she/her/hers that just... idk i have been thinking abt it a lot recently if u couldnt tell by my disc status

i mean first of all this goes hard second of all... i mean damn after i listened to this it started to like influence how i thought of my trans identity. i knew there were some people who were fine with not passing - i mean i was one of them - but this song brings up a completely different idea: not WANTING to pass. living visibly trans and preferring it that way. and honestly, considering that my dysphoria is not so bad that it is crippling if i dont look like a perfect cis woman... id like it that way too. to pass means to give up my place in the trans community almost. i mean sure, i can still interact, i still have my stories to tell and its not like being trans WOULDNT effect my passing life. but im still losing that part of me, i wont be able to be there to give that closeted kid someone to see themselves in, i wont be able to stand alongside my other trans friends knowing that im not posing the same threat to the transphobes up at the top by virtue of me being effectively a cis woman in many peoples eyes. knowing that the centrists and conservatives would accept me now that ive managed to successfully blend in with their numerous white able bodied traditionally attractive cis women. the fact id have to play their game and then, even if i didnt want to, id naturally be pushing them forwards. am i supposed to be prideful of that?

this isnt to hate on trans women looking to pass, you can do whatever youd like. but for me, this is how i see it, if i ever get to a point in my transition where im passing on a regular basis (as years and years of hormone therapy will do to you), you'd better believe im making it clear that im as trans as fucking possible. i will wear a trans flag pin at minimum as much as i can if not always and you shouldnt be surprised to see possibly even more. i will introduce myself as a trans woman. i will include my transness in the conversation when applicable. this is part of who i am and if i try to hide it im only taking a step back in both all our progress as lgbt folks and in my own place in the world.

so like, this is more or less where I'm at.

I want to look feminine and a lot of that looking feminine is looking "conventionally" feminine. I love femininity. Dresses, skirts, necklaces, etc. But it it is more than possible to read as both conventionally feminine and visibly trans, and that's honestly what I'm going for. My transness will be a core part of my aesthetic, ranging from accessories to color designs.

I don't want to assimilate into cisheteronormativity. I want to beat it at its own game, then beat it over the head with its own standards.